Going Commando
by Lady Valmar
Summary: Think of Sheppard and the word commando in the same sentence. Then throw in some mystery, hurt comfort and maybe a Gou'ld being involved. Warning changed due to darker parts. Starts out funny progressively gets darker then ends in semi comfort. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 Little Shep

**A/N: **To keep things clear. Italics are character thoughts. Also I just couldn't stand going on with the sequel until I **edited **this fic for errors both in wording, grammer and storyline. I haven't changed much of the storyline but I have made the ending semi-open for the sequel. Your welcome to **re-comment** on my _live journal _account's posting of Going Commando. See my profile for more details.

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Title: Going Commando 

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Humor, Suspense/Mystery

**Rating: Mature (due to later chapters)**

Archive: FF, SGAHC, FB

Beta: None (Feel free to volunteer peeps)

_Spoilers_: Set in Season 2 with some reference _only_ to a Season 3 episode.

Date: Unknown

**Sequel:** Burden (It's a working title right now)

Summary: This is just plain wrong. Evil plot bunny I swear… okay all I'm gunna tell you is think of Sheppard and the word commando in the same sentence and that should tell you something.

**Warnings:** This is so wrong, I am warning you know, But the evil plot bunny attacked me while I went through something similar to this. Don't worry I wasn't seen thankfully like Sheppard is. LOL! Okay from chapter 5 onward I start getting more intense with my adult themes. This does feature John getting raped though I do not go into full description of the event. Just bare with it my dears, you won't be disappointed.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters, So stuff not owned by Stargate Atlantis is mine and therefore please ask and do not infringe nor steal my original themes, concepts, ideas or characters please.**

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... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando**

By _Lady Valmar_

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**4:30 am**

Waking up to the sound of your alarm screaming into your ear is one thing another is to take a smack at it and have it fall down on your head while your half-asleep. Sheppard rubbed the side of his head, where his blasted clock had fallen and hit him. He just knew he shouldn't have bothered with setting up the clock in his room, let alone bringing it with him to Atlantis, still old habits die hard, he guessed.

It had been a ruff few days and the thought of just relaxing made him take a deep breath. Today wasn't going to another one of those run around days, where he did reports, played guinea pig to Rodney or worked with those few men under him who needed some extra training. No, today was just another lazy, put your feet up days.

Now if he could only get that throbbing dent in his head to calm down he could figure out what he was going to do.

John rubbed his head and yawned. It had been a late night, he'd swore to himself that last night he was going to get some sleep but then his laptop had been acting up so he'd gone down to Rodney's lab. Boy that had been a mistake. Rodney went on endlessly about using the scanners he'd installed in John's laptop since the last crash.

When John told him that pushing the power button was just as efficient, Rodney had gone into his computer-geek mode. It was the mode where he lectured John on what not to do with his laptop and why. By the time he'd got back to his room it had been 2:30 am. Now he was awake and there was no going back to sleep.

It wasn't hard to get to sleep, it just he sometimes had a hard time convincing his mind that it was time to shut off. Looking down at the offending object in his lap, he shook his head. It was time to invest in one of those watches…the kind that set to Atlantean time.

After he had sat the clock back on the table near his bed, he sat up and stretched lazily. Well it was time for his daily run with Ronon, then on to practice with Teyla. Flinging back the covers, he set both his feet on the floor, and that was when the next terrible thing to happen was his feet touching something wet… A very sticky, wet something.

Frowning, he looked over only to see his water glass sitting on the floor on his shoe and the stuff that had been in the glass was dripping from his mattress. The best part was that his covers had seen a taste of the action too, as he had a habit of doing wild kicking maneuvers while sleeping sometimes.

"What the hell!" John growled. He figured that he'd been so tired last night, that it was possible he might have just feel asleep with the glass in hand or sitting on the bed. Not a normal thing he'd do, but then this past week had been anything but normal.

Standing up, he snatched the wretched glass, so much for a lazy, put your feet up day. Sheppard glared and felt a slight breeze as the air controls turned on to adjust the room temperature.

"That's funny…" He remarked before looking down at his underwear.

_Well so much for those pair_…he thought, dropping his boxers, which slopped in the same pile as the soaking sheets. There wasn't much he could do for the mattress but thankfully the offending liquid hadn't soaked too much into it. The covers didn't really matter all that much. He could travel down and get some fresh ones from supplies, hopefully.

He pulled the covers into his arms and went into the bathroom, which had two racks and hung the covers on it. There was no point in re-washing his boxers if it was just water, it would dry. The problem was it wasn't just water, it had a type of flavoring in it that had the noticeable characteristic of staining stuff, if left untouched.

Sheppard had been introduced to this flavoring by Teyla, who said that Athosians used a grounded up herb called Curash, which added a minty flavor when added to water. It seemed to be the Earth equivalent of catnip, in that it had much the same properties in that it helped with a dry throat or stomach problems, both of which Sheppard had been suffering from last night.

Glaring at the water glass, as if daring it to say something to him, he walked over to the laundry hamper and deposited his boxers. Belatedly, he realized that all his laundry needed to be washed. Standing for a moment still stock naked, he realized that maybe he'd better shower first. The stuff was making his skin a little itchy.

He deciding it might be best to radio Ronon and let him know that the daily run was off the menu for today. Just in case he reminded himself if he got hung up with his laundry he'd have to call Teyla and also cancel their practice session. After he'd finished with a short radio conversation he traipsed off to his restroom.

Jumping into the shower he scrubbed for a while and when it wouldn't come off, he used the more potent lava soap he'd been given from the maintenance department awhile back. It did the job well. He scrubbed every spot the blue covered and afterwards, he briefly washed his hair. There was no point in all this showering without actually washing the rest of him.

Grabbing a towel, he dried off and began to look for a fresh pair of boxers in his drawer. A what a surprise…no underwear. Sheppard frowned. Well if he couldn't find any clean ones he might as well, use a dirty pair, at least until his laundry was done. Walking over to the hamper, he pulled out the wet, blue pair, nope!

Next he pulled several grimy towels off and felt his frustration grow. Two pairs were soiled with dirt and grim…the last things he wanted to wear. Then he had found a pair he had the luxury of smelling a musky odor and on further inspection seeing his own emission…on. Those pair were definitely off the list.

The last pair he had found had some odd green stain on them…that he didn't even want to know how it had gotten there. Chucking everything back into his hamper, he sighed. If there was ever a day to have no clean boxers to wear or even dirty ones to wear, this was the day. Sheppard frowned. He never went out without boxers but today was looking like he would have to do exactly that.

As he eyed the wet boxers, his com beeped at him. _Talk about bad timing._

It was McKay's voice and from the sound of it he wasn't happy.

"Sheppard respond!"

Walking over to the com, he put it in his ear. "Yup."

"Yup…what the hell is yup for. Where are you?"

"Where do you think, in my room."

"Don't you usually go for a run with Ronon on your days off?"

"Yeah well…got a little side tracked at the moment."

"Side tracked?"

"Yes! Now what do you want McKay?"

"I need you…erm…I mean your gene."

"Oh really?"

"Yes…mine won't cut it."

"And may I ask why not?"

"Because it just doesn't alright. Now come down here Sheppard, it's not like your busy at the moment."

Sheppard looked down at his naked body, so not busy huh…. He really needed to do his laundry sooner.

"Well…when you put it that way…say please."

"What!"

"You heard me McKay. I'm not your personal servant, now say please and I might just be nice enough to meander down to your lab and let you use my 'gene' as you are demanding of me."

That reminds me I'd better radio Ronon after this and see if he's up or if he's already done the morning run.

"I will do no such thing. Now come down here Sheppard!"

"Jeez, pushy. Are you in a bad mood? Didn't get your morning coffee did you?" John snickered, that should do the trick. He really knew how to push Rodney's buttons.

"Oh shut up…for the love….okay fine…please."

Sheppard smiled. Bingo! About time McKay was polite.

"Please what?"

"If your trying to make….ahh….help…oh my…."

The radio went dead with static. Sheppard shouted into the com, "McKay? McKay? Dammit Rodney!"

Racing to his chair, he yanked on his shirt, put his pants on, then his boots. Then putting on his belt and holstering his gun, he raced down to Rodney's lab. When he got there, he couldn't help but begin to laugh. The scene before him had, Rodney glaring at some type of device, with him muttering curses at it as he glared at his hands. On his left hand side, was one of McKay's female staff technicians, her face scrunched up in a vicious grin.

"Way to go Dr. McKay," she shouted, clapping her hands together.

Sheppard started to laugh more as he saw McKay's hands. They were pink to be exact. A bright neon pink. "So I'm guessing don't need my help after all? Unless you want me to help you get some makeup from Elizabeth to match those pink nails Rodney."

Rodney turned around, his face flushing a little red and glaring at Sheppard in spite of it. "You can…uh…"

"What Rodney? I've got some lava soap that might do the trick unless this is permanent, in which case, your going to have a hard time living this one down buddy."

As he was about to comment on Rodney's expression he stopped, as he caught sight of the assistant walking alongside Rodney and just blatantly staring at his crotch. To make matters worse Rodney's expression had changed to a look of horror. Then as he watched Rodney's eyes turned upward quickly while the tech's stayed connected to his crotch. He couldn't believe it, she was just staring, deadpan.

"Something wrong?" Sheppard asked, having a bad feeling that it had something to do with his pants. "Oh no it's that blue color, it's on my pants isn't it?"

When either of them didn't say anything, he gagged that the blue stains were not what had Rodney turning his eyes up at the ceiling, a horrified expression on his face and the woman's face turning red "What is it? Rodney!"

"Your…fly…it's ah…unzipped…and ah…" said the tech timidly.

He swallowed slowly and flushed as he looked down to see his fly open and a bit of his pink flesh showing. Panic erupting, he turned around and zipped up quickly, only to bite his tongue in the process.

Turning back slowly, after he'd composed himself he breathed in deeply. Okay what should he do? Run or say something or nothing at all. Finally when the door whooshed open in the background to another lab he found the courage to look up and saw a giddy look on the tech's face.

"So…ah…you go Commando huh?"

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**A/N:** Hopefully this version is even better, if you have already commented and still wish to comment on the new version just comment on my livejournal for all previous version updates to chapters. I do hope that made sense. For anyone new to this fic, it's going to sound funny but soon enough you'll see… Poor poor John. The things we writers love to do to him. 


	2. Chapter 2 Encore

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Encore – Part 2**

By _Lady Valmar_

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**8:30 am **

Finally he'd gotten back to his room, Sheppard shuffled his feet down the hallway, his laundry bag in tow. This had to be probably one of the worst mornings ever for him. First he woke up to his stupid alarm clock, then he soaked his sheets and underwear in that stupid flavored water. Then he found out that he couldn't put any underwear on because none were clean and ah yes…the worse thing yet…he had had to go commando then have two people see him. And that one person had to have been Rodney.

Sheppard bristled at the thought of the Rodney seeing his… Shrugging off the impulse to look down again to make sure his fly was zipped, he continued his trek down to the laundry room. A strange slopping sound made him glance down at the laundry.

_Huh that was weird_, he thought, but he since he didn't see anything, he continued onward.

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**9:00 am **

Finally after several transports, chit-chats and discussions about his choice of waiting to do his laundry until he couldn't stand it anymore or until he ran out of clothes, he stood before the door to the laundry room. He paused a moment, there was something he was suppose to do.

_Oh that's right. _ He thought, and radioed Teyla to let her know he obviously wasn't going to make it in time. Sighing again, he mentally opened the door and froze as he watched a familiar gateroom personnel kicking one of the laundry machines while uttering curses at it.

"Hey…what's going on?" asked Sheppard, adjusting his grip on the laundry basket.

"Huh…oh sir? It's this damn machine sir, if you don't mind me saying so…"

Sheppard nodded waiting for him to continue. "It has stolen my clothing and I don't' know how to get them out…all my socks are in that load too!" grouched the man, rubbing his neck in frustration.

"Have you tried calling for a technician or for one of the scientists?" offered Sheppard, wondering if it was a good idea to put his own laundry in. The last thing he needed was for the machine to steal all his underwear. Then he really would be in trouble.

As Stackhouse reached for his com, the machine suddenly sputtered and the clothes appeared on the exiting end of a conveyer belt like contraption, they were soaked in what appeared to be some type of cleaning solvent.

"Oh no! That's it I give up, I'm going to got take these down to the science labs and make them do something about this. This is the third time this week and somebody else has already had their clothing ruined by this damn malfunctioning laundry machine. You'd think the Ancients would have thought of better ways to clean clothing than to have a machine that eats it up!"

As Stackhouse bundle up his clothing in hand and walk past Sheppard, he stuttered a, 'see you sir' and ran out with, casting the machine an evil look.

Sheppard thought about his laundry. True it was a risk to send his laundry to the hungry machine by the way Stackhouse had portrayed it, but he couldn't risk going without boxers…especially on a mission. He also didn't need the machine keeping his boxers either.

Sheppard scratched his head. He really didn't have a choice it was either lose all his underwear or go around commando and have a possible repeat episode of a zipper showdown. Or put the green stained boxers on but he'd never do that.

Tossing his laundry in, he crossed his fingers, yawned and pulled out some playing cards he had with him.

_It might be awhile. _Thought Sheppard.

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**10:00 am**

Sheppard was relieved to find out that the machine hadn't done anything to his laundry except make it clean. He still had to fold them but then he'd rather that then deal with a mess of clothing folded inside out or something. Without further delay, he quickly put his clothing back into his laundry bag and toted it back to his room. On the way there he saw a wet spot on the floor…dyed blue.

Gulping, he remembered that sound. His boxers must have slopped some of the liquid onto the floor.

_Stupid flavoring_, He thought.

Just before he made it into his room, something kept nagging him to check his laundry bag. He looked down and saw only four of the five pairs of boxers he had.

_Darn._

He was about to go back to the laundry room to see if just maybe the machine might have kept the one pair but noticed a bright pink post it note it on his door. Curious he sat his laundry down to read the note.

"_Dear Colonel, I think this might be yours but since I'm not sure I'm going to leave these boxers in your room, (I just overrode your lock) and if their yours great! If not then just give em to the guy who takes lost and found kay!"_

Horrified, Sheppard dashed into his room only to slide flat out on his ass with his laundry tumbling all around him. Muttering curses, Sheppard pulled himself up groaned as his left hip twanged.

Breathing deeply, he wretched something from underneath him. It was the wet boxers.

He quickly glanced around only to see a trail where his body had slid along because of the boxers. Not too mention he'd somehow smacked his hand into his laundry bag which had gratefully obliged to dump his laundry onto some of the blue on the floor.

_GREAT_! Thought Sheppard.

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**11:00 am**

After cleaning up the mess, refolding his laundry and putting it away, he picked up the four pieces of laundry that had blue stains. He was going to get this done now…or so help him!

Yanking off his pants, he tossed them into the pile of wet clothing and jumped back into the shower. After scrubbing the same area for the second time, he went to step out of the shower and felt his foot slid. It was his regular soap. He found his balance and then grabbed the soap and tossed it across the way into his trashcan.

_Ha! There._

Gathering up the clothing, he put it into his laundry bag and set it down to yank the sign off his door before going back to get his laundry and take it to get cleaned. Once there he had arrived, he found himself face to face with the same woman that had been working with Rodney just an hour or two ago. She smiled profusely at him and then horror dawned on his face when he saw she was still looking at his crotch.

Deadpan staring.

"Your…ah…unzipped…again," said the woman, blushing, a huge smile on her face.

Sheppard froze and quickly dropped his bag of laundry to zip up. When he turned around again he realized he had dropped the bag and let the contents spill out of it. The woman smiled even more.

Sheppard bent down to pick up his laundry and found her eyes on his wet, blue stained boxers. He quickly made a grab for it. As he reached for his other shirt, he could feel her eyes on him as he bent over and hear her made an ow sound. Embarrassed, he stood up.

"Do you mind?" He asked, wet shirt in hand.

"Do you? So boxers is it?"

Sheppard glared this time at her. This was getting ridiculous!

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**11:45 am**

Finally he had finished his laundry, eaten a late breakfast and was now back in his room, feeling thoroughly violated and embarrassed. It had been a long day and he hadn't even gotten a chance to go play golf or mess around with his skateboard. He was about to lie down when a knock on his door signaled his day's troubles weren't over yet. Opening the door, he rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the red threatening to stain his cheeks.

"Hello Rodney," said Sheppard, finding it difficult not to look down at his crotch to make certain he was zipped.

"Sheppard," said Rodney, his voice strained.

"I need you to come back to the lab, so I can finish that experiment," said Rodney, twitching slightly.

He looked over Rodney's hands casually. They weren't pink any longer but then again he did have some very odd stains on his fingertips.

"Dr. McKay?" said a voice nearby.

"Uh…"

"Colonel?" asked a woman nearing Rodney. "Well this is just quite a coincidence. Three times I've ran into you or you've run into me. Either way you put it."

Sheppard was shocked. The same woman again! He was just having one of those days that was it…just one of those days…

The woman smirked at him before turning to Rodney. "Hi…um…yeah…I made those calculations and they still aren't working out and by the way Colonel…you should really be more careful and I think your ah…"

Sheppard quickly looked down to zip up and realized he was wearing sweatpants. He looked up at her and glared.

"Just kidding. So calculations? Lab? Dr. McKay?" annunciated the woman, her hands doing a little dance.

"Right…Dr. Rivas, be right there…" said Rodney, looking down at his feet.

Well that was odd behavior for Rodney, Thought John, but this whole situation was probably the reason for it.

She smiled once and giggled at Sheppard before leaving. Once she was out of earshot Sheppard added to Rodney, "Dr. Rivas?"

"Yes…Dr. Rivas…perverted isn't she?" said Rodney, resentment in his voice.

"I think we're beyond perverted right now…" said Sheppard, his hands settling across his chest.

Both men froze as two female marines walked past and began giggling once they'd past them.

This was just not Sheppard's day at all…

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**A/N: **R&R 


	3. Chapter 3 Deviance

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Deviance – Part 3 **

By _Lady Valmar_

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**12 something pm**

Finally after he'd managed to squeeze himself out of helping Rodney, he'd finished the rest of his laundry and was just headed out of his room to the mess hall for a lunch snack when he saw something-bright pink stuck to the wall next to his door. It was a post it - note it.

_Another one?_

It was out in the open where anybody could read it. Approaching the post it out of curiosity he read its message.

**NEWS FLASH**

_The Colonel has got a problem zipping up._

_-A very happy tech_

Angrily, he ripped the post it off the wall and wadded it up. The next time he saw that Dr. Rivas he was going to give her an earful for sure. There had to be a crime for this sort of thing. Well there was that whole sexual harassment but he'd bet if he did report her, he'd never live it down with the guys. Resisting the impulse to look down at himself yet again, he continued his trek to the mess hall.

She'd get over it eventually, so would Rodney and so would he. Or so he thought…

Rounding the corner to the transporter, he saw another post it stuck to a wall out hang. Ripping it off the wall he read the message with growing irritation:

**NEWS FLASH**

_The little Colonel is everything and more ladies!_

_-A devious, gleeful tech_

Whatever this woman was trying to do, he had no idea, only that if he found one more post it with that type of stuff on it he was going to go directly down to Rodney's lab and find this woman. Crumpling up the post it he shoved in into his pocket, ignoring the stares from passerbyers and the giggle of a female scientist nearby.

Entering the transporter he slammed his finger on the dot of the screen to Rodney's lab.

Forget the next post it. He was going to put a direct stop to the whole thing. When he exited the transporter and entered Rodney's lab he came face to face with a crowd of scientists surrounding something posted to the wall in the interior lab area. Some were amused, others extremely embarrassed and then there was Rodney standing off to the side shouting for everyone to get back to work.

He had a really, really bad feeling about this. That was when one of the crowd members turned to announce he had arrived. The next thing he knew he was being guided to the paper on the wall. After he had had a chance to really look at it he could feel his face flushing red.

It was a very well drawn picture of him with his zipper down and some of his pink flesh showing. There was a post it just below it.

**NEWS FLASH**

_See here the beauty of the man's instrument of music! Drawn for all women's pleasure of Atlantis. Beautiful isn't it? I guess it takes a commando to go commando? _

_P.S. And that's right flyboy,, I've got the original sketches. _

_-A extremely pleased tech_

Ripping the note and the picture off the wall he felt someone tap his shoulder. Turning he was staring into the eyes of Dr. Rivas.

"I hope you know it's all in good humor of course. Come on I draw well don't you think?"

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**1:50 pm**

Sheppard had confined himself to his quarters after an ensuing argument between himself and Dr. Rivas and maybe a bit on Rodney's part. Then Elizabeth, herself, had come down and after finding he hadn't reported it until this moment, had yelled at him as well.

In the end of it though, he was pleased to hear that Dr. Rivas was receiving ample punishment and as for the sketches…who knew where they were… So far repeated attempts to discover where she had hidden them failed.

They were certainly not in the lab nor her room and she wasn't talking.

_Figures_, Thought Sheppard.

Elizabeth had had a long chat with him about harassment and how serious it was and she'd also lectured Dr. Rivas with him in the room. Dr. Rivas was on suspension from any off world trips for the time being. He'd been relieved to hear that Dr. Rivas understood what she had done was wrong and she'd even apologized to him for it.

Elizabeth had told him and Dr. Rivas that she would not take the matter further up for the time being but should Dr. Rivas do anything else then she would report the situation.

Shuffling around his bed, he picked up his War and Peace book to read the next page. After attempting for an hour to get past that page he resigned to looking over reports he hadn't finished yet. It was then his earpiece crackled to life.

"Sheppard?"

Should he answer it? After all he didn't want to leave his quarters until the next mission. It was harsh but he figured it was better than the ridicule right?

Sighing heavily, he answered. "Yup."

"This is…ah…a friend," said a squeaky, feminine voice.

"A friend?"

"Yeah…"

"You know you sound familiar."

"Okay? What universe are you in?"

"The Pegasus Galaxy."

"Gee…you don't have to get sarcastic with me."

"Is there a point to this conversation or are you just wasting time Dr. Rivas."

"No…I…um…am not…whose Dr. Rivas?"

"Don't play dumb."

"FINE! Yeah it's me. Just hear me out okay…look I know your embarrassed and all but I was wondering…um…wow…I'm really bad at this sort of thing…'

"What?" said Sheppard, hoping for the best, maybe she was going to tell him where the sketches were, that would be good.

"Would…you…like to go out on a date with…my…vag…."

Sheppard immediately shut off the headset. Rodney was right…

_She's a perverted lab rat! Go out on a date with her? Her?_ There was no way in his lifetime that he would go anywhere near her. _Did she say her…?_

He decided he'd spend the rest of the evening working on his laptop. Okay so he was supposed to have reported it but what harm could it do? She had just acted like an idiot is all. Maybe a bit more than an idiot.

* * *

**3:00 pm**

After eyestrain and a leg cramp Sheppard decided on a long, hot shower. Sure he'd showered twice today but he still couldn't get the sticky feeling off his skin even though the blue was gone.

Pressing his hands against the shower wall, he leaned his head against them. Things were going to get better. He just had to keep a positive outlook. To be honest before he'd gone through this mess today he'd been really relaxed for the first time in awhile. Now he hoped that his stress build up would release underneath the hot tendrils of clean water.

His muscles ached in places he didn't even know were sore, probably from the intense week he and his entire team had endured. Rubbing his eyes he let his mind drift from one issue to the next. On how to ask one of the scientists under Radek to go on a date with him to the problem with the Wraith to how he'd love to be in a massage parlor right about now.

Finally he turned off the water and stepped out. Dripping water onto the bathroom floor, he reached for the fresh white towel nearby. Steam wafted off his body as he slowly dried himself.

Once he had finished, he grabbed a fresh pair of underwear and stretched out on his bed. His body was so relaxed. He could fall asleep any minute but his mind was preoccupied with other things than sleep. He'd lain there how long? Before he'd reached over to where his book was on his nightstand. He picked up War and Peace again and thumbed through it. There had to be better reading material on Atlantis.

Sheppard tossed the book on his nightstand and searched for the cooler box under his bed. He had filled it earlier around 2 pm before he'd trekked back to his room. It had an odd assortment of soda's and a few fruit gelatin cups.

Withdrawing a soda and a raspberry cup he looked over at the short board sitting in his room. He really missed that. Surfing. There really wasn't anything better than the wave, your body, and the thrill. Then there was his golf clubs and skateboard. Things he'd love to get to but felt his body needed the rest.

Returning to his laptop, he checked the email account that he'd been given since the start up of the web server. It had only three new emails. He wasn't too surprised after all he'd checked his email yesterday after the mission. One was a daily status report of all teams training logs, activities and the coming sessions. He skipped that one. The next was a personal email from a girlmadelovepeeps. He didn't have to think twice to know who that was. He skipped that one too.

The last one had in the title _'Thinking About Revenge Colonel?' _

He clicked on it and was greeted with a letter. A little unusual considering he thought he knew who sent the email to him. It was Rodney for sure. With a name like intellectualgenius he didn't need a second confirmation.

_Sheppard,_

_Kavanagh is a thorn up the butt and Dr. Rivas is a perverted masochist. Wouldn't it be interesting if they went out? _

_-intellectualgenius_

_(Curious…meet me in the main science lab…don't worry I think I can get those sketches but you owe me one. If you know who this is give me a call on the com instead.)_

Sheppard stared. Really? Was Rodney trying to gleam more chocolate from him? Or coffee? He had no doubt that if Rodney was willing to stir up a little trouble, he would probably want something in return. Should he risk it? This was Rodney after all. He really didn't care about Dr. Rivas and Kavanagh, who'd been considering leaving Atlantis for sometime, or so Sheppard had heard.

Tapping his com Sheppard connected with Rodney's.

"McKay."

"Ah…it's the peep show. What do you want I'm busy."

"Intellectual Genius, how does that work for you?"

"Ah so you figured it out. So want revenge?"

"Rod ney…?"

"Shep pard…?"

"What do you want?" Sheppard closed his eyes, he was starting to get a headache.

"Nothing…yet."

"Great…"

"So you coming or not?"

"Fine. I'll be there but this had better be worth my…"

"Yes…yes…your utter humiliation and embarrassment for leaving your room. Just get down here."

Sheppard scratched his neck before he left his room, narrowly missing the paper stuck to door jam of his doorway. Angrily he ripped it off and was about to throw it away when he took a second look.

It was a picture of him bending over in blue boxers…and it wasn't a sketching.

This was getting worse and worse.

Sheppard tapped his com. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes John?"

"There was another one on my door and it wasn't a sketching."

"What?"

"It was a photocopy of a photo."

* * *

**A/N**: Sexual Harassment is a serious offense for both men and women but because most men get embarrassed they don't report it. That is the sad reality of it…and one in which John is about to really understand. R&R 


	4. Chapter 4 Evaluation

**A/N:** More technical and serious than the previous chapters. From here on out it will still cling to some humor but will go down a darker path. Just be warned.

* * *

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Evaluation – Part 4**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**5:00 pm**

"According to the information provided by both yourself, Colonel Sheppard, several staff members that worked with Dr. Rivas and my own observations, I have determined that Dr. Catherine Rivas should be sent back to Earth, for evaluation on Sexual Harassment and misconduct," said a petite, skinny woman with mahogany eyes and long braided black hair known as Dr. Linda Reeds.

Both Dr. Weir and Sheppard glanced at one another before Dr. Reeds continued.

"As such I don't have to remind you Dr. Rivas, " Dr. Reeds explained, turning to glare at the woman, "How serious a crime Sexual Harassment is, now matter what the occurrence may be. In any case if there is nothing further, I will send a message down to the Daedulus to have Dr. Rivas taken."

John rubbed his neck. This was really more embarrassment than he needed. He could already hear the jokes flying. Still he understood the gravity of the situation, maybe if he had just reported her after that radio call, just maybe this wouldn't have happened but he highly doubted she would have stopped even then.

Dr. Reeds proceeded to have the guards stationed out side of the briefing room alert Colonel Caldwell of the proceedings.

Sheppard nodded and found myself eyeing a space somewhere on the middle of the table. He could feel Dr. Rivas's eyes on him as she fidgeted in her seat. When he looked up her eyes had settled back on her hands that were resting on the table.

"I just want you to know, Colonel, that I didn't mean to take it this far. I hope you know I wouldn't do that. Take a photo of you in your room. After the radio incident I realized maybe after the warning I should just cut it out. I swear I didn't do it."

He took a breath before responding, "You know…I don't think it was very humorous…but I'll admit you could have done worse. You know, I don't know if I believe you, Dr. Rivas, at least at this point anyways."

Dr. Rivas faced tensed. "It's Catherine by the way and I didn't do it. I'm telling all of you right now. I didn't do it. You can do whatever punishment you want but I didn't do it. Maybe someone else got inspired by less than humorous harassing."

Just then Dr. Reeds returned to her seat, awaiting confirmation that it was clear to send the woman to the Daedulus.

"Um…Dr. Reeds?"

"Yes?"

"Could you at least hear me out? I don't know how many times I have to explain myself. I didn't do this. Please don't make me lose my contract with the SGC. I really don't want to be reassigned or fired."

"Dr. Rivas I can't say the evidence supports your…_theory_…but I will make certain that everyone on Atlantis is updated on Sexual harrassment. If there was someone else this should be a stop to it. I honestly cannot say you didn't do this but I don't believe you will lose your job however more than likely you will be reassigned and put on probation. There will also be a request to see a psychologist as well."

"But…"

Dr. Reeds put her hand up, "Should in the event, however unlikely that it may be, you turn out not to have taken a photo of Colonel Sheppard, you will still have to contend with what you did do. Do I make myself clear. Dr. Weir, do you have anything to add?"

"Oh my god…" said Catherine, putting her head in her hands.

"No, I think you about covered it. What I will say is that I am," Elizabeth looked the Catherine straight in the eyes, "…Dr. Rivas, what you did was not excusable or acceptable in any manner."

"Yes…Dr. Weir," Catherine replied.

Sheppard watched her as she stifled sniffles into her arms. He did feel for her but she had taken the accidental peeping a little too far with all those post-it note-its and then that sketching and the possible photograph.

Just as he was about to ask a question, Rodney hustled in, a folder in hand; looking rather disgruntled and out of breath.

"Uh…sorry I was late but ah…there was some problems in the lab and I have those results Elizabeth," said Rodney, shuffling to an empty seat near Sheppard, wheezing slightly.

Sheppard just rolled his eyes. This had to be the worst day he had had ever. Period.

"Hem…hem…As for yourself, Colonel, any and all circumstances in the future should be reported directly to me immediately and to Dr. Weir. I suggest that any information from any others who have been harassed be addressed as well," said Dr. Reeds, her eyes falling on Dr. McKay and a guard who was leaning against the wall nearby.

"No complaints Ma'am," said the guard, cracking his neck.

Sheppard watched as Rodney suddenly began to fidget, when Dr. Reeds eyes settled back on him.

"Rodney?" asked Sheppard, seeing a blush creep up the physicist's face.

He looked at Dr. Reeds before responding, "What?"

"Is there anything you would like to share Dr. McKay? That was what you were going to ask right Dr. Reeds?" asked Catherine, eyeing her watch then snidely glaring at Rodney. "It's all too clear you want a shot at me too huh?"

Sheppard watched her there was something about her eye movement that told him she was stalling for time but he couldn't pinpoint why. The thought occurred to him she might have an accomplice but he couldn't say why about that either.

All present turned to look at Rodney as he glared back at her. "Excuse me?"

"Oh don't play dumb go ahead tell them. If you don't I might as well. I'm already screwed!" shouted Dr. Rivas, pounding her fists into the table.

"Dr. Rivas!" said both Dr. Weir and Dr. Reeds, as the guard went to the woman's side.

"As a matter of fact yes. She," said Rodney, pointing an accusing finger at her, despite the warm glow on his face "…stuck her hand somewhere…unwanted."

"…and kept it there…" Rodney added, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. "Look I don't want to talk about this. Shouldn't we be focusing on the photograph instead?"

"Has she done anything else to you, Dr. McKay?" questioned Dr. Reeds, ignoring his question for a moment.

"No…just…it was one time," said Rodney, eyeing the folder on the table in front of him.

"I…shouldn't have," said Catherine, looking over at him. "I'm sorry…I just…I worked so hard to get here and now…I have to go back to that shit hole of a planet called Earth…I'd take a Wraith to that polluted pot hole of the universe any day…"

"Yeah well you should have thought about that before you went around harassing people," said Rodney. "Guess what goes around comes around, doesn't it Dr. Rivas?"

"Rodney…" said Sheppard, warningly, watching as Dr. Rivas began to stand up.

"Ma'am?" asked one of the security detail posted outside.

"It's okay," answered Dr. Weir, sitting up." Dr. Rivas is going to sit back down now."

"Oh the Colonel says their ready now."

Dr. Weir nodded as the guard guided Dr. Rivas out with two others at her side.

On her way out she put a hand on Sheppard's shoulder. "I'm really sorry for any embarrassment and shame I might have caused you but I swear, once again, I didn't do it. And Dr. McKay, I'm sorry as well."

Sheppard opened his mouth to reply but Rodney beat him to it. "You know you should be sorry for the stuff you did do and…"

"Rodney…" replied Elizabeth and Sheppard at the same time.

"I know Rodney. Dr. Reeds please continue," said Dr. Weir, genuinely sympathetic to both men seated before her and concerned that this was going to get a lot worse before it got better.

"Now, as for any other complaints against Dr. Rivas I have questioned almost everyone that has come into contact with her and only Rodney, Sheppard and one another have been sexually harassed by her. As for that other issue…" said Dr. Reeds, "Now that she has left the room. I am inclined to believe she took that photograph of you, Colonel but…."

"If by the way I've profiled her, this isn't something she would hide from people. It would be something she would proudly boast about. I don't think she would want to further jeopardize her career though I was wondering about that radio call she mentioned, Colonel."

Sheppard scratched his neck. "She gave me a radio call and just said something stupid on it. But after that she didn't bother me further."

When both Dr. Reeds and Elizabeth continued to eye him, he replied. "Look, I agree I should have reported it but come on. This whole thing is just…"

"Getting out of hand?" answered Elizabeth, crossing her arms.

"Well maybe a little…"

"Yes, alright keep me informed," said Dr. Reeds into her com. "Well it looks like it wasn't Dr. Rivas after all. So it appears we have another culprit to seek out. Dr. Weir? I hear you have a team of technicians sweeping Sheppard's quarters for anything."

"Yes that is correct."

"Yes…yes," Rodney interrupted, "I have the proof right here…"

"Why didn't you say something?" asked Dr. Reeds.

"Because you were all so busy talking. So there were three bugs discovered, installed for listening obviously and three cameras, all in areas where the picture could have been taken. Zelenka is examining the bugs right now."

"Is it possible that this person could be a spy for the Gou'ld?" asked Dr. Reeds.

Rodney stared at her, "Really, I highly doubt that a Gou'ld would want pictures of Sheppard naked." Rodney replied arrogantly, looking over at Sheppard.

"I was wearing clothes for your information," said Sheppard, holding back his urge to give Rodney a smack to the head.

But he couldn't help the questions running in his mind. How had someone done this without him knowing? Who was the more important question. Why? And what other pictures or videos had they taken of him? If it wasn't Dr. Rivas who was it? If this was for a spy on Atlantis than they were doing a whole lot more than just surveillance that was for sure.

"I just find it a little odd that there weren't more explicit pictures. I mean whoever it is has a camera set up in your shower area so…"

Sheppard tried not to blush. "Right…thanks Rodney for reminding telling me."

He tried not to tug on his shirt, he'd taken three showers so far…that camera had been in there all this time?

"So can you use the equipment to find out who did this?" Dr. Reeds asked, when the silence grew.

Rodney rolled his eyes and turned to Dr. Reeds. "Well…since there is no actual tapes in the cameras, I determined that I if I can track the person through the live wire feed, I can locate who it is. The only problem is that..."

"That person has cut the feed?" supplied Sheppard, crossing his arms. _Tell me something I don't know or rather that actually helps out this investigation. Jeez…two people one harassing me and the other actually spying on me for…hm…what the thrill?_

"Exactly."

"So what can we do?" asked Dr. Weir.

"Well there's always the fingerprints on the camera, inventories of who took what to Atlantis and then there is questioning people individually, " Rodney replied, looking kind of forlorn. "I really hope you aren't expecting me to check inventories…"

"Right…and while we're sitting here discussing this, whoever did the detail on my room has got the tapes of me, " said Sheppard, his temper beginning to flare.

"Well and voice recordings."

"What?!" Sheppard found his hands slapping against the table as he leaned forward.

"Yeah…we found some microphones as well. Look its not easy tracking someone who doesn't want to be found," said Rodney, looking to Elizabeth for backup.

"Sheppard, Rodney has a point," said Dr. Weir, "But let's not just give up yet."

"Of course," said Dr. Reeds, inclining her head at John and then to the new arrival in the briefing room.

"Dr. Weir I'm sure you've met, Investigator Lisa Kimbal of the SGCIS (Stargate Criminal Investigative Services – like NCIS). I contacted her immediately as this issue was brought to my attention."

"Ah please call me Lisa. It's easier that way," she said, reaching for everybody's hand to shake it.

_Nice body_, Thought John, sliding his eyes off her fully figured front of her top.

She took an empty seat, after shaking everybody's hand. She was in her mid forties; her auburn hair piled on her head in chopsticks with Prada black frames for glasses and she wore the usual Atlantean uniform with a special patch having the words SGCIS on it.

"So do we know have at least an idea who did this?" asked Dr. Weir.

"Well…thanks to the updates I received while checking out the evidence and waiting for Dr. Reeds to come aboard the Daedulus, I have my suspicions that it could one of the crew on the Daedulus…however because most of the fingerprints were smudged I can't be certain. I will need to interview all of them before I can be sure. Until then I suggest that Colonel Sheppard's quarters be kept under guard when he is off-world and the crew of the Daedulus be grounded until further notice."

"Of course," said Dr. Weir, tapping her com to alert Caldwell of the situation.

Upon Zelenka's entrance, Rodney took another folder from him and read through it as they waited. "Really…" said Rodney, after Zelenka pointed to something both of them were looking at.

"Yes, I checked it several times to be certain…"

"Gentlemen?" Elizabeth asked, as the two continued to talk in low voices.

"Huh? Oh right I have the information on what kind of cameras were used as well as the bugs.

"And?" asked Sheppard, as the silence stretched again.

"Well the cameras are the usual Earth make but the bugs…their believe it or not Gou'ld technology."

"What?" said Sheppard, not believing what he was hearing.

"Here," said Rodney, passing out the papers in the folder. "It's actually quite fascinating as I've never seen Gou'ld technology as small as this but for it's sheer size it's very effective for listening. It used a frequency that most of our equipment couldn't detect."

"How effective?" asked Sheppard.

He wasn't too sure he wanted to know but at the same time… he needed to know there was just some things he didn't want other people hearing when he was in his room…

"Up to a mile at least, if not more."

Sheppard sighed. This was going beyond ridiculous. "Not again. Didn't we already go through this with Colonel Caldwell…"

"Do we know for sure that it is even someone from the Daedulus?" asked Dr. Weir, turning to the Investigator.

"Not for sure like I said, I ruled out mostly everybody on Atlantis excluding Dr. Rivas and a few off world teams."

Elizabeth rubbed her temples. "Colonel, I want all teams grounded until further notice and guards stationed outside your room at all times just as a precaution."

"An Elizabeth," said Rodney, interrupting the briefing as he listened to his com.

"Yes?"

"We have a new problem."

"What kind of problem?" asked Sheppard, feeling he had more trouble in store for him.

"There is a video of you Sheppard…on the internet system being sent through e-mails."

"WHAT!" said Sheppard.

"Apparently your ah…not exactly dressed either."

* * *

**A/N: **Please keep in mind that the proceedings in the briefing room for Dr. Rivas will have differences from a real life situation like this. I have tried to as accurate as I could with the information I found. Much of what I used comes from a website, my fiancé's father, who is ex-military, and several wonderful people at the yahoo group SGAHC. Also **SGCIS **was a term coined for my one of my other fics which featured another SGCIS agent. Feel free to use the term for your fics but please give me credit.

Thank you for your support, patience and continued reviewing of this fic.


	5. Chapter 5 Stalker

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Stalker – Part 5**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**6:30 pm**

_First Dr. Rivas, then now a spy for the Gou'ld who is taking this surveillance thing to a whole new level…_

Sheppard was sick of this and Rodney adding in new dimensions to this already embarrassing situation, by telling him about microphones, another bug in his laptop and a few other things had just done him in. He had finally had it. He was done playing the nice guy. This person…spy or whatever…was going to get **it** when he found out who it was.

Of all the things he'd thought about when he woke up the s'morning it was certainly not being sexually harassed and then discovering he might have a stalker who just happens to work for the Gou'ld.

All he had planned on was to just relax today maybe do his laundry and annoy Rodney in the lab for awhile but noo…he had to endure this…nightmare.

**Total nightmare!**

Sheppard shook his head as he watched Zelenka and Rodney team up on two separate laptops to use the system and track where the feed might have last left off. They were also checking his e-mail and turned out madelovepeeps or whatever the sender's name was, wasn't Dr. Rivas either. It was the stalker possibly. The message detailed how they had been watching him since a week ago and that they hoped he liked the photographs they were going to pass out to everyone of him in his boxers. The person hadn't specified whether they were a woman or not but it was a woman. He just knew it.

John kicked himself after they'd told him about it. If only he hadn't disregarded the email. If only he had just read it and then reported it. At least Zelenka and Rodney were trying to find out were it had originated from.

At the moment he could barely keep awake let alone focus on the task at hand. It was like every time he thought he had a hold on a single thought his mind brought up small things he didn't need to remember…like his now three gelatin cups in his personal cooler that were, by now, probably melted.

Like his wet body with blue stains on his ass were on the video and…

By now all of Atlantis must have seen him naked…well not totally naked. At the very least this scum had had the decency to at least put a blur on this nethers… Trying hard not to think about he sat down, swiveling in the chair as he tapped his fingers against the tabletop.

He had never felt more humiliated in all his life. He thought Colonel Everest and most of his superior officers comments on his lack of regard for authority had been at the very least somewhat humiliating to keep having showed in his face but no this was worse. Ten times worse. Getting fed on by the Wraith, being held prisoner, nothing could compare.

Finally when he couldn't take it anymore he asked for the sixth time, "Rodney? Found anything yet?"

"Look this is going to take awhile. This person was very thorough in keeping his or her's tracks clean," said Rodney, pointing at the screen again, as Radek muttered in Czech under his breath.

Sheppard stared. "His or her's tracks?"

"Yeah…what?"

"His…or…her's?"

"It could be a guy."

Sheppard glared this time at Rodney. "Great so I have a gay stalker working for the Gou'lds…"

"Hey it could happen…" said Rodney, suddenly flinging his arm out and smacking Radek in the face.

"Oof!" said Radek, catching his glasses. "Watch it!"

"Uh…"

"You are…most clumsy for a Genius!" shouted Radek, muttering more Czech curses, only this time loud enough for all present to hear.

"Well…sor-ry! Maybe if you hadn't of been standing there…"

Sheppard sighed How was he ever going to live this down? How? Just walking out of the lab stirred up cat-calls and whistles. There was even one woman who had squeezed his butt on his way out of the main lab area. He hadn't known who…there had been a crowd of woman.

And Elizabeth… He wasn't even going to think what she thought after seeing that video clip… Or Teyla…

"Are you blushing?" said Rodney, bringing Sheppard out of his thoughts.

"NO!" grouched Sheppard, "I'm going to get some coffee…you want some coffee…"

"You see, he's embarrassed now," said Rodney smirking. "This is just…"

"This is just what?" glared Sheppard.

"Um nothing…okay getting back to that…thing…" said Rodney, with Radek shrugging behind him.

John rubbed his neck. Maybe if he got some coffee and came back they would have the results and they could put an end to this person's intentions. He still didn't know what this person was trying to get from him or do to him.

* * *

**7:00 pm**

"Sheppard, this is Rodney, come in," said Rodney into the radio. "Sheppard?"

Static preceded his radio call through his com. Radek shrugged. "I thought he went for coffee."

"He probably went off somewhere to hide, said Rodney, then shouting into his radio, "Sheppard! If you can hear me and aren't picking up just to be an as…"

"_Rod...n…can'…her…uo…wh…"_

"_What?" _

"_It…a wom…an…I'm…"_

Radek and Rodney exchanged weird looks.

"Was that Colonel Sheppard?" asked a female tech's nearby. "He sounded like he was being…"

Rodney held up his hand and he tapped his com. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes Rodney? Got anything yet?"

"Is both Dr. Reeds and the Investigator…oh what's her name again…with you?"

"Yes why?"

"I think we might have a problem."

* * *

**7:26 pm **

Dr. Weir, Colonel Caldwell, Rodney, Radek, Dr. Reeds, Ivestigator Kimbal, Ronon and Teyla were all crowded around a map of Atlantis on one of the screens.

"The last sighting of him was in this adjacent hallway from the mess hall," announced Rodney, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"And…" said Elizabeth, trying to wait for him to continue. This was looking worse by the minute.

"We have no way of knowing where he is now."

Elizabeth crossed her own arms. "Is there any way to possibly modify Atlantis's sensors to detect him?"

"No," said both Radek and Rodney at the same time.

"So your telling us you can't find where he is?" retorted Ronon. His eyes were glaring at the two.

"I'm assuming that where ever he is now, it's more than likely our suspect," said Dr. Reeds, chewing on her fingernail. "I would gather that this person knows Atlantis fairly well and knows that the sensors can't track one person in a crowd."

"She's right," replied the Investigator.

"But," interrupted Rodney, "That they can't be seen tugging the Colonel around in chains or something."

The comment elicited looks from all present. "And…"

Dr. Reeds stepped forward. "He means, that this person is probably in an area we haven't been to yet and where sensors cannot penetrate."

"Thank you," said Elizabeth, smiling at Rodney's disappointed stare, "Major Lorne, this Dr. Weir."

"Yes ma'am?"

"I need you to assemble security teams to search the lower sections of Atlantis. Seems we might have a hostage situation on our hands."

"Right away, ma'am."

Turning to all assembled Dr. Weir raised an eyebrow as Dr. Reeds was talking to herself.

"Dr. Reeds?" asked Elizabeth.

"Anybody notice someone missing."

"Yeah…Lisa Kimbal," said Rodney.

"Kimbal?" asked Dr. Reeds into her com.

"This is Kimbal. I'm going with them. The search might go faster. Keep me informed of anything new you learn. Kimbal out."

"Right," said Dr. Weir, "Put me on speakerphone."

"Why?" asked Rodney.

"I'm going to see if I can't reason with this person."

"But their a spy for the Gou'ld," said Rodney, "Their not going to reasoned with."

"I know that Rodney but we have got to try something."

* * *

**8:00 pm (Lower section of Atlantis)**

"Look I don't care who you are. This is apparently not what the Gou'ld wanted you to do for them," said Sheppard, his eyes widening as the woman brought out a knife, twirling it in her hands.

"Who said I was working for the Gou'ld?"

As he was about to say something she put a gag in his mouth. Watching, he flinched as she cut open his shirt. He was either in for a lot of torture or… He really didn't want to think about it. The very thought of being a host or being tortured in…_that…_way was too much to think about.

Returning to her bag, she pulled up a stand which had some type of device mounted on it. The device was a metallic black with a few stray wires hanging from it.

"You needn't worry Colonel Sheppard, the Gou'ld will never get a hold of you. I just managed to hijack some of their technology is all. When I'm finished with you, you'll be begging me to stop. I guess my plan worked after all thanks to the inspiration from Dr. Rivas. It was sad to see her leave…"

Grinning, the woman pulled out a syringe with light green fluid in it. Standing near the machine she tapped a button on it and it began to send out a beam, scanning him. "Enough talk. Let the fun begin," she said, a smirk on her face as she approached him, the syringe in hand.

* * *

**8:06 pm **

"Do you believe it is this Investigator?" asked Teyla, walking beside Ronon.

"Maybe," said Ronon, checking his gun. Then when he thought about it he added, "I don't know maybe not." Shrugging, he entered the first room.

They did a quick sweep but nothing to suggest either had been there. Moving on, Teyla rubbed her neck, this wasn't the first time Sheppard had been taken but it certainly was the first time to be taken hostage by a enemy who had other plans than to extract information. Well to be honest, Teyla wasn't sure this person wasn't interested in information…

Finding her thoughts drawn back, she watched as Ronon squatted on the floor looking at something.

"It appears this person desires something from him but I don't know if it is information or…"

Ronon looked over at her. "To go to all that trouble not to get information. They want information. Look…" pointed Ronon.

"What is it?" Teyla asked, walking next to him.

"They were here," said Ronon, nodding at a bloodstain.

* * *

**9:32 pm**

"Unghhhh…"

Sheppard's head was so fuzzy. He knew he wasn't in his room but for some reason he felt completely relaxed and the only time he did that was when he was…well in his room.

Stretching, he felt the bindings pressing into his arms and legs. Slowly his eyes began to open to see a partially dirty wall before him. Okay so definitely not his room for sure and not the same place he'd been before. The walls seemed different. She must have moved him somewhere else.

He was bent in half, in a position he assumed was purposeful meant for something. _Something, he thought, but what? This Gou'ld is out of her mind. I can't believe it that this would happen to of all people, me. _

Looking up he saw the woman smiling down on him. "Time to take what I want."

"And what is that exactly?" asked Sheppard, his face stinging. He really didn't know what she had done to him earlier, as she had put something in a needle that made him sleep.

"Take the information I came for from your mind directly," said the woman, her red-brown hair rustling. "And while I'm at it…" She slide her finger up his chest. "Maybe a little more than that."

Remembering for the first time that he the front of his shirt had been slit, he felt relief wash over him. At least she hadn't gone for the pants…yet. Struggling against the restraints he felt her slap his butt.

"Stop it."

Sheppard suppressed his retort as she slipped a helmet on his head. "Just you wait, John, soon I'll have everything I need and then we can get down to the real fun."

A thought crossed his mind. So either two things were going to happen. She was going to torture him or she was going to kill him. He figured it would be some type of kinky torture then she would kill him. After all, she did have a set of handcuff earrings and a necklace. Never mind the tattoo he'd glimpsed when she'd turned her neck.

* * *

**A/N:** For denise-42 who wanted more GC. I hope I did alright. So kinky torture huh? I wonder… eegah the next chapter is going to be fun. 


	6. Chapter 6 Aftermath

**A/N:** For here on out is where the darkness starts. Please don't continue if torture and overall abasement of Colonel Sheppard bothers you in any way. I had this briefly beta'ed but if there are still spelling errors feel free to let me know.

**Brief Beta-er**: Sliverofwingless

* * *

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Aftermath – Part 6**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**10:00 pm**

Groaning, he peeled his eyes open only to find his vision blurry and the room spinning. To keep from vomiting, he focused on an insect sitting on his hand. It was a small fly or at least he thought it was. The little thing buzzed up as he wheezed out air through his teeth, and zoomed to the table some distance from him only to be caught in a spider's web.

Watching, he saw a purple colored spider scamper down the web from a dark corner and sink its fangs into the fly until it stopped moving. It then proceeded to wrap up its morsel in white spider thread.

_What a metaphor or foreshadowing_… Thought Sheppard, his smirk fading as her voice brought him back to reality.

"Try to relax, the effects are only temporary. Soon you will be feel better and then…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know," said Sheppard, spitting out mucus onto her shoe.

"Oww feisty but I'd prefer you powerless and in my control. I would have put a sedative into you but I think this will do better" said the woman, her hands curling around his chin, before she walked around behind him and she sat on his back before rubbing her face on his neck. "So how does it feel to be powerless? To have a woman have total control over you? Degrading? Humiliating? Exciting?"

He could feel her weight pressing down on him, it didn't help his back was still sore from that slip and slide in his room earlier. He ignored her taunts as images of blue soaked clothing temporarily took his mind away from his kidnapper. Though he could not ignore the blade the woman was dragging across his breast. It was just enough to leave a thin cut in his shirt but not enough to open up his skin.

"So tell me how do you like it? Top, bottom or sideways?" hissed her voice in his ear, as she grabbed a tuft of hair and proceeded to cut it with a saw like motion.

Grunting, he clenched his eyes that had begun to water, feeling his scalp burn. It was all he could do not to say something. He knew her whole point was to try and get a rise out of him and he was not going to satisfy her an inch.

Her hands traveled up his spine before the knife caught the edge of the rest of his shirt in the back and slide upwards cutting open the back of it. Then with her icy fingers, she ripped the rest of the shirt until it was in a pile, on the floor, all around him.

"Now hold still," said the woman, her tongue trailing up his spine before her needle-like teeth clamped down, hard, on his neck.

Feeling pain and bursts of light, as he tried to struggle free, he clenched his teeth. The scent of copper drifted to his nostrils, as it seeped out of the teeth marks she'd left. Stinging and burning, the wound throbbed, leaving him with a sickening realization that maybe she wasn't going for necessarily kinky.

He silently wondered what he would say later, if she did indeed take advantage of him in his vulnerable state. His wonderment wasn't left unnoticed, as she licked his cheek and quickly scratched it. Leaving a thin trail of blood in its wake.

Jerking his head out of her outstretched hand he gritted his teeth, as her hot breath dusted his face. Looking deep within her toffee brown eyes, he tried not to let the snaking fear worming it's way in his stomach show. "Come on…ask me. I know you want to. Will you feel ashamed and humiliated if I do? Is it fear of being submissive? Come on ask me! Why did I do this to you? Of all candidates? Why not that lovely Scottish doctor or the astrophysicist? ASK ME!"

In an instant her callused, flat palm connected with his wounded cheek. He immediately let a strangled yelp from his throat. His cheek stung painful, as the blood dribbled down his chin. He kicked himself mentally for the sound. He had given her what she wanted. Glaring at her, his eyes inky in the pale, muddy light, he spat blood our of his mouth onto her chest. It was the least he could do.

However the movement awoke the wound on his neck, making it bleed again. Thankfully she hadn't bitten him anywhere near his jugular. Jerking on the restraints he clenched his teeth before responding. "When my team gets here you're going to…"

"What be sorry? What's wrong afraid I'm going to sterilize you by cutting something off?" said the woman, accenting with a scissor-like motion with her hand.

Before he could respond, she pulled another gag out from her sepia-colored coat and stuffed it in his mouth. Immediately the smell of something pungent made him flare his nostrils. His head flopped forward, as she went to her bag, weakly he tugged on his restraints. If he could only move it a little more…he might be able to move his wrist to undo the knots.

The room was becoming so dark. His mind was wandering. What was he suppose to do again.

"I guess a sedative was a better idea. For now anyways."

Looking up, he managed to focus on a black object she'd pulled from her bag. It was a cat o-nine tails. A fine, kohl, black with braids all the way down each tail. A devious smile teased her thick lips and he roused himself into yanking hard on the restraints again. It was hopeless and she knew it too.

* * *

**10:30 pm **

"How is the search coming so far?" asked Rodney, a Madeleine cookie hanging in his two fingers, just inches from his lips.

The whole situation had been fine for awhile until him and Radek discovered a hitch in their tracing program. It couldn't by pass several intricate firewalls and it also seemed to have a problem with a few small things. Such as it traced old emails and other things that had nothing to do with what they were looking for.

Thankfully, at least, they had managed to fix the problem somewhat and were working on each firewall carefully, so as not to cause any errors in the system or anything else that might disrupt the network.

Elizabeth shook her head, her coffee mug held tightly in her hand. "No. Have you found anything yet?"

Rodney frowned back. "So far no. The progress is slow but we've managed to trace every suspicious file and firewall there is and nothing so far."

"Well that is if you want to include porn and love notes as something," added Radek, smirking as he read a love note sent to Carson.

"Wait a minute is that a love note sent to Carson? Let me see that…"

Scrambling over to Radek's computer, the two laughed and talked about the email until Elizabeth cleared her throat and they looked up.

"Gentlemen can you get back to the problem at hand. I don't have to remind you how serious this situation is. We can leave Beckett's admirer for another time I think," said Elizabeth, giving the two a glare before returning to her office.

"Well we've managed to also narrow down possible search areas for the security teams," added Radek after she'd turned her back.

"Good. Keep working on it. Major Lorne?" asked Dr. Weir into her radio.

"Yes Ma'am?"

"Have you found anything yet?"

Lorne turned to the room, he and his men had stumbled across, while searching for Kimbal who had disappeared around 9pm. She'd decided to take a different route and hadn't reported back yet. Sadly after the room had been checked her body had turned up. "Yes Ma'am I think we have. Its not Colonel Sheppard but we now know its not Kimbal."

"Okay?"

"We found her body, Ma'am."

Elizabeth lowered her eyes.

"What's going on?" asked Dr. Reeds just entering the lab.

"It's Kimbal, she was found dead."

Dr. Reeds put a hand on one of the tables. "Lisa…my god…"

* * *

**11:00 pm**

"Okay, Okay. Let's try this again. Run the program," said Rodney, hitting a key on his laptop.

Radek pushed his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. "Rodney it will not work. We've already tried it three times. There is too much missing data…"

Rodney frowned as he watched the computer screen and following pop up windows spell out what they already knew. This person couldn't be a Gou'ld, they were no doubt a professional at computer networking and apparently any technology they came across, but the IMO as he'd learned from Dr. Reeds, was not consistent with a Gou'ld.

They had to be a private contract. Maybe part of that rogue group of N.I.D. agents he'd had the chance to learn about after Caldwell had played host to a Gou'ld.

Rodney decided he should confer his thoughts with Elizabeth and left the lab, coffee mug in hand and Radek trailing behind him. "Rodney…!"

As they neared her office, Rodney could see Dr. Reeds seated near Elizabeth's desk, going through papers in a folder and making notes. Elizabeth's voice brought Rodney out of his thoughts. "Well Gentlemen, you can eliminate one of the possible suspects."

Radek and Rodney looked up at her in unison. "What happened?" asked Radek.

"I was about to ask that," snapped Rodney. He was holding his coffee mug mid air as he waited for her reply.

All around them, people slowed or pretended to do something else to listen in on the conversation. Several technicians that had been working looked at them.

"They found Investigator Lisa Kimbal. She was…mutilated. Major Lorne could barely identify that it was her. Well I don't think I have to say anymore," said Elizabeth.

Rodney exchanged concerned looks with Radek. "Are you sure it was her? Did Carson…"

"He's checking to be sure but he's certain it's he. We'll know more once the DNA tests comparisons come back," said Elizabeth, looking down for a bit. Her arms were crossed snugly across her chest as if to shielding herself.

"So this person who took Sheppard…I've been thinking maybe they aren't after Sheppard but maybe something he knows," said Chuck, the gate technician, who hadn't really been paying attention to their conversation. He handed Elizabeth her a mug of coffee.

Rodney shook his head, as Elizabeth took the mug and sipped. "Well obviously…Chuck," said Rodney.

"Okay sor…ry," said Chuck, leaning against one of the consoles, which merited him a glare from Rodney.

Rodney thought about it for a second. "It would make sense but it has to be something more than that. Whoever this person is we're not just dealing with an average Gou'ld. They have to be connected to N.I.D. somehow, maybe the Gou'ld but I'm beginning to doubt that or they could be some rogue agency either in this galaxy or from Earth. There is always the rare chance this person might have a cloaking technology, it would make sense because they could say…make themselves look like Kimbal maybe."

Dr. Reeds had just been about to go back to her office when she stopped near Elizabeth, folder in hand. "Okay first off…if there is any chance the N.I.D. are involved in this we need to know now. Find proof first, if it's the Gou'ld…well that's nothing new. If it's someone else we still need to know. As for this possible cloaking technology…that's just a theory."

Elizabeth smirked at Rodney as he puffed up indignation. "Well it's a good theory," said Rodney, bobbing his head a bit.

"Is there any way to pick up on the device if they're using it?" asked Chuck, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Radek turned to look at Rodney. "Couldn't we…?"

Rodney shook his head. "It wouldn't work besides like she said it's just a theory."

"We can at least try."

"Try what?" asked Elizabeth, watching the two scientists eyeing each other.

Rodney crossed his arms glaring at Radek. "I highly doubt it."

"Gentlemen!" asked Elizabeth.

Dr. Reeds raised her eyebrows then she frowned. "Couldn't you just use Atlantis's internal sensors to pick up any signature or use a heat sensor to find them?"

"We already tried that it didn't work," said Radek, "But we have some other ideas that might work."

"What other ideas?" asked Elizabeth.

"Rodney?" asked Radek.

All present turned to look at him. "Okay fine. We could possibly…boost the sensors temporarily but I doubt this person still has the cloaking device on, if they have a cloaking device, let me remind you and let alone whether or not…"

"Do it," said Elizabeth.

"I concur," said Dr. Reeds just after Elizabeth.

"But…fine," said Rodney, rolling his eyes at both women.

"I thought you said it was just a theory," Chuck retorted at Rodney.

Rodney rolled his head over and sneered. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" Before he traipsed back to the lab, Radek shrugging again behind him at all present.

* * *

**11:36 pm **

"Major Lorne have you located anything yet?" asked Teyla into her com.

"Nothing yet. You guys?"

Teyla turned to Ronon, who was frowning. "We've found a blood trail but it leads to a dead end. We will keep searching. Ronon believes we are close."

"Alright keep me posted, Lorne out."

Teyla lowered the radio from her mouth, turning to Ronon. It had been a short while and they weren't giving up on Sheppard but the blood and after hearing news about Kimbal…

"We'll find them," said Ronon and he meant it.

She didn't doubt it but would it be in time?

* * *

**12:45 am**

"Elizabeth?" asked Rodney, pulling open her door to her office.

He could see two coffee mugs, sitting empty, on her desk. She had a stack of papers nearby and she had a half eaten donut on a napkin.

"Am I interrupting?"

Elizabeth looked up from the document on her laptop. She looked weary and tired, just as they all felt. Giving a faint smile she waved to a chair. "No, have a seat."

Pulling up one of her office chairs he sat down. "So what's the news? Or should I be asking – found anything yet?" Elizabeth asked, waving in Dr. Reeds who picked up another folder and quickly left.

Shaking his head he looked down. "Nothing yet. We used as much power as we can, to boost the sensors without causing any power failures. Now it's just a matter of waiting for it to pick up anything down there."

"Oh."

Look around her office he saw a new statue sitting on her desk. "Athosian?"

Elizabeth smiled and picked up the little tiki looking statue. "Yes, one of the children on the mainland made it and Teyla gave it to me."

"Its…ah…interesting."

"This whole mess is giving me a headache," replied Elizabeth, putting the statue down. "I just can't believe after all the new measures the Daedulus put in and the safety procedures…"

"We'll find them," said Rodney, "If there is one thing I say is that John and I have a save each others ass thing going on. Well I better get back to the lab and see what Radek has if he has anything on the tracking screen."

Elizabeth nodded. "Rodney…"

"Yes?"

Suddenly Radek's voice shouted fro Elizabeth's doorway. "Rodney," startling both Rodney and Elizabeth. "The sensors picked up something on one of the lowest levels of Atlantis."

Immediately, Elizabeth and Rodney jumped up to follow Radek to the laptop. Radek moved aside to let Rodney do a few adjustments. "Their on Level 4 deck C of the lab compartments. One of the areas we haven't search yet due to lack of power."

"Major Lorne, this is Dr. Weir."

"Yes?"

"Their on level 4 of Deck C of the lab compartments. I suggest taking flashlights that area has no power."

"Thanks I'll keep that in mind. We're on our way, Lorne out."

Elizabeth nodded at Rodney with a faint smile. "Good work, both of you."

* * *

**1:05 am**

"Lorne to Teyla."

"Yes Major?" asked Teyla, watching as Ronon punched the wall. There was another body. This time of an Athosian. Ronon and Teyla had known her personally. In fact they had trained with her this s'morning.

"Dr. Weir just informed us of the location of where our kidnapper is and Sheppard. We're heading there now. Level 4 Deck c of the lab compartments if you're wondering."

Teyla exchanged looks with Ronon. "We have stumbled across a body. An Athosian."

"What's your position?"

"Level 3 Deck 3-6," read Teyla, from the bulkhead nearby. It was grimy and filthy but the letters were clear enough. Despite being in Atlantean Teyla was able to discern what it said.

"Okay I'm sending another team to that position. Stay there until they arrive. Lorne out."

Teyla shook her head. "Perhaps there are more than one?" asked Teyla.

"I don't know but I'm about to find out," said Ronon, pulling out his gun.

"Ronon, we must wait here…RONON," shouted Teyla, as he ran to the door.

Ronon stopped at the door before turning back. "Your welcome to stay here but I have a feeling Lorne is going to need all the help he can get."

Teyla turned back to the woman's disfigured body. Making a quick decision Teyla left her com open on the floor and raced after Ronon.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7 Tragedy

**A/N:** Sorry y'all I really had to change the warning due to this part of the story. It's rather dark…a little too dark to merit a Teen rating. Don't worry it gets better. From here starts the section leading up to the rape portion. I don't describe it in detail but you get the picture enough. You've been warned.

**Brief Beta'er:** Sliverofwingless

* * *

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

**Tragedy – Part 7**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**1:20 am**

Lorne's team made it to the entrance of level 4 but rubble was blocking them from entering it. Signaling to a few men on his team, he had them slowly remove it. As they hefted rocks and debris away from the entrance, his team froze as they heard a sound down the same hallway they had come from. Swinging his P-90 around, Lorne and his men shined their flashlights down the hallway.

Relief made them relax their weapons. It was Ronon and Teyla alongside.

"Major?"

"We ran across a little bump in the road," said Lorne, pointing to the rubble behind him. "Security team 2 found your Athosian."

Teyla nodded. "I left my com open in case…"

"I had a feeling he wasn't going to wait," Lorne said, nodding to Ronon.

Ronon quickly put his gun away to help lift some heavy rocks from the entranceway. They were getting through slowly but it wouldn't be long before they got through.

Teyla pitched in and prayed when they found Sheppard, he wasn't dead. _Ancestors please… _She thought, before lifting up another rock.

* * *

**2:00 am**

Bursts of pain and light filled his head as he choked on the gag. She was finished but he wasn't. Struggling to spit out the gag he found his voice.

"Fine why are you doing this?" asked Sheppard, his voice sounded weak.

Tossing her hair over one shoulder, she sat the red stained whip on the table. "Because I know what it's like to be taken and beaten to the stretch of my limits. I know what it's like to feel like no one cares. I know what it's like to be desired for I was once desired…I'm not stupid! I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!"

Sheppard stared. "Are you on something…we can get you help you know…"

Her hand came down on his face abruptly. The sting and the renewed bleeding of his wound made him wince. He shifted his weight, trying to ease the sore muscles in his legs. Though they should have been the last thing on his mind, he kept wondering when was help going to arrive.

_There is really something wrong with her. _He thought. The sedative had finally wore off enough that the pain began to intensify. God those whip marks stung. The knife wounds and his poor hair weren't the least of it. He hoped there would a good ending at least for him. Like her being tossed out an open window. He couldn't help it. He hated her almost as much as Koyla and that was saying something.

Kicking the table with her foot she glared at him. "Because… never understood me and... Don't you even care to realize…arghhhh…"She clenched her head and began to struggle, swinging herself back and forth.

She wasn't making any sense to him. Something about the way she screamed at her head for _it_ to get out, made him think she was a Gou'ld. She had to be.

Once the throes of whatever she had gone through subsided she strode over to stand in front of him. Crouching down, she lifted his chin up and pulled the gag off his neck. "There are some things John that even the Gou'ld don't understand right John?"

* * *

**2:30 am**

After pushing to get the rocks cleared away, they had finally made it through. They were so close. Lorne and his team approached cautious. They didn't want to startle their target. Who knew what he or she might do?

Ronon had his weapon out even before they started moving forward. He gave the Major a nod before he followed along side.

Making quick work of the lengthily hallway, they made it to the first of the lab compartments. Carefully they stepped over more debris and broken up wall pieces. This section of Atlantis had fared the worst wear and tear.

Ignoring the few new arrivals such as a spider and a small mammal, which looked much like a squirrel, the team came to a locked door. It was solid and thick. They would need to use something explosive in nature to gain access.

Backing up, Lorne had one of the team members, a Lt. Rodrigez, use one of the charges he took along, on the door.

After Ronon, Teyla and the team covered themselves, he pushed the button.

An explosion of dust, chunks and various blackened, metal, shards flew out slamming against the sides of the wall, the ceiling and floor. Lorne checked to make certain the doorway was clear before they moved forward. It was at lab compartment, row 3 that they heard someone screaming. It was Sheppard's voice.

* * *

**2:35 am**

"Get off of me!" screamed Sheppard, as she began wiggling her fingers on his side. Finding he couldn't stand it anymore he began to laugh. But as soon as she had heard his first laugh, she dug her nails into his arm, making him scream.

It was confusing. He couldn't stop laughing but he could feel the pain too. Instead he found himself making a strange screaming sound. A splice between laughter and pain. "I…don't…know…what…your…expecting from me!"

"How can you not know?" she screamed into his ear, ceasing her tickling. "Tell me how does it feel to be in pain? Does it hurt? Does it make you want to hurt me? Hurt me…hurt me…ahh…"

She clutched her ears this time and shivered for awhile before standing up straight, a vicious grin on her face.

Was it a case of mistaken identity? He doubted that. What was it she was trying to do…well besides injuring him?

She moved back away from him. "I'm going to make you feel so much pain you won't be able to stand it. This kind of pain you won't forget easily and it will make you shrivel up into nothing. I'm going to make it so you never forget that men can..."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!" he screamed. He had tried to keep cool, to just give his team as much time to find him but he couldn't take this anymore. What was the point of all of this? To make him miserable?

"Your cooperation…nothing more," she replied, her voice snake like. "Cruelty has many forms Sheppard. The physical aspect is just one of its many tools. I find your pain delightfully satisfying. She killed him. What do you think? Jadcrul. He wasn't high-ranking but he did his duty and now he is dead. He was mine to kill. MINE! All mine…mine, mine, MINE!"

Spitting on his face, she grabbed the knife from the table behind her and yanked his boots off his feet. "You friends are no doubt close to finding us but I guarantee they won't get very far…"

Sheppard looked over at her to see tears rolling down her face. "I don't know what happened to you or who this Jadcrul is or what your going through okay. Go ahead and blame me if you want but whatever he did to you, or the Gou'ld did to you, torturing me will not make your hurt go away."

"I…sorry…you don't understand …the prisoner is now in charge and I am captive…please help me…" she cried, returning to her bag to retrieve something.

He had thought he'd almost reached her but when she turned around, the cold, heartless tone had returned.

"You know Sheppard, I wouldn't mind taking you as a host. In fact I might even enjoy it but for now I'm going to have to take what I can get. Soon enough though, I won't need to be a Gou'ld to get what I want. Those experiments and the DNA I've gained from your mind will help me…"

"What?" replied Sheppard. He didn't really care, but he was stalling for as much time as possible.

"Oh of course you don't know do you…I've found a way with just that small amount of the knowledge…well that and the samples I was able to sneak away from the infirmary…to ah gain immortality and strength…without becoming a Wraith. You see, unlike my former captor, I've been working to find Jacrul. I was so close but soon enough he left his former host for a Colonel. I followed him until he went to Atlantis. I don't think I need to explain everything…"

"So this is revenge?" asked Sheppard, laughing slightly, as he clenched his eyes. He was sweating and the wounds were stinging from it.

"In a way yes…but instead I've learned so much more since coming here. I know torturing you won't change things but just the same…how can I make you mine when you won't submit?"

"Your insane!" shouted Sheppard suddenly. "I think you've had one too many snakes in the brain or something…"

Before he could continue, he felt the gag being stuffed back into his mouth. "Maybe…I am…but I bet you will never forget me…nor anybody else…not after this…" Pulling a clear syringe from behind her back, she shook it in front of his face.

"My little cocktail or Margarita…doesn't matter what you call it but it will make you immobilized just long enough for me to have my way with you. You'll feel it all but be unable to do anything to stop me."

Looking up at her, he still wanted to fight, to believe she was going to get it when his team got there but already it had been how many hours? Of course he felt bad for the host but it seemed more like the woman had been insane even before the Gou'ld had taken her.

Her hands snaked around his arm, as he tried to jerk free but it was useless, she inserted the syringe in and he felt his head getting fuzzy. As he felt himself go limp, it was strange his limbs wouldn't move… Whatever she had given him had somehow made him stiff. At least he could move his eyes.

When he thought about it though, maybe being awake for this was not such a good thing.

* * *

**2:50 am**

They had neared the last compartment and row. Room C or rather it was called Deck C for some reason. It had been chalked in white English lettering. Lorne signaled for his team to enter the room. But the door wouldn't budge, so again Lt. Rodrigez used another smaller charge to blow open the lock on it.

Ronon and Lorne were the first to enter, their weapons up, ready for anything. After the dust had cleared, they saw some kind of device sitting in the center of the room. It was glowing.

"Damn it!" shouted Lorne. Ronon punched the wall again.

Pulling out his radio, Lorne called up Rodney. "Dr. McKay?"

"Yes?"

"We found some kind of machine, you might want to come down here and take a look…later. Right now we need you to keep searching."

"There's no other signal…" replied Rodney's voice.

"_HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS JOHN?" shouted a female voice._

"Hold that thought Rodney," said Lorne into his radio.

"We must be close," said Teyla, looking at him only to see Ronon race out again. "Ronon!"

* * *

**3:24 am**

He watched as she smacked his boots around with a metal pipe and banged against the walls with the same pipe. Only one thought came to mind. She was insane. That was it. _Oh great_…Thought John, _I've been kidnapped by a crazy person._ _Oh no…a crazy person with a Gou'ld in the brain. This day just keeps getting better and better._

Feeling something moving behind him, he tried to turn his head, he managed to move it just enough to see her dragging a few things to a corner of the room. "I've saved all the data I need. This thing is useless. Now all I need is to finish this up and get out of here. Oh your going to love this John, I've got everything we need inside this duffel bag."

Staring at her, he pushed to see if he could move his legs and arms. "I wouldn't try that John," she said, moving over to him to slap his lifting hand. "It won't last too long, I promise. Just enough for us to have some fun. I'm sure you're going to like this…"

Reaching over, she unbuckled his belt and pulled it off him, tossing it into a corner somewhere. Reaching for his pants, she unzipped him, taking her time. He struggled to move but no matter what he did he could only move his arms and legs a tiny bit. Not enough to free himself or stop her.

He knew though what she was after… There were only two things he thought she would do to him, concerning the removing of pants. He shivered slightly, as the knife returned to slice open his pant legs, he guessed, to make removal of them easier.

"Now the real fun begins…" She hissed, her knife tapping his lower region through his boxers.

* * *

**3:29 am**

Ronon raced down a few more corridors until he was sure he was close. Slowing down to stealthy approach, he kept his ears open. He could hear the woman's voice barely. She had thrown them off once but not this time.

Holding his gun at chest range, he approached Deck F door. Though he couldn't read Ancient he didn't have to. It was written in white chalk. As if the woman had been planning this all along. Hearing silence, he shot the lock and charged in.

A cassette player sitting on the chair greeted him with a woman's voice. "Nice try, though I admire your spirit. Not close enough though. He's mine. MINE!"

Blasting the chair and player, Ronon was about to race out when something caught his eyes…a disturbed dust area near a wall panel. Walking over, he felt along the edges until the panel popped off. He could see faint footprints and something else in the dusty floor.

Smiling, Ronon muttered. "Not for long."

* * *

**3:37 am**

A pile of shredded, stripes of material sat nearby along with the knife she'd used to remove them. He was now in nothing but his birthday suit. It made his wounds feel pretty good though, he had to admit, as he felt his face grow hot with embarrassment.

This had gone too far already. Why hadn't the team shown up already? Where were they? These questions kept running through his mind. Why was he feeling embarrassed even? That should have been the least of his worries.

Watching her drag the duffel bag over, he saw her pull out three things. Another syringe, a blue plastic square and a tube of clear liquid. He didn't need Carson to tell him what she had in mind.

Reaching for the third syringe, she stabbed it into his abdomen but he had barely felt it.

"Wa…ah…a…r…yyy…yo…you…do….innn….g…?" slurred Sheppard, his tongue feeling numb.

"Oh nothing dear. It's just a little something to make you relax…well to make the flag rise…to make a fish into wood…as the sayings go…"Giggling, she slowly removed her coat. "I won't be needing this…well actually I won't be needing anything below the navel…"

He didn't think the saying had fish in it but he didn't care about that because she was undressing and had mentioned something about her navel. He had a really bad feeling about this.

Normally when a woman said something along the line of not needing anything below the navel in front of him, he would have been well very…what was the word? Pleased? But this was anything pleasing.

Sliding off, her own boots, he watched as she unbuckled and dropped em all. He couldn't help but look, after all it wasn't very often that he saw a woman in this state…even a crazy woman. This certainly was different. Well different then his usual line of torture.

His eyes traveled over her body. She wasn't skinny but she wasn't fat either. She had olive white skin and apparently preferred it shaved. He still didn't know quite what she looked like because she had on, a black lace mask over her eyes.

Feeling her hands sliding up his legs, he clenched his teeth, as she clutched his hips. "Now John, do you see what I meant by relax?"

He did see. Fish into wood so she had said and so it was.

* * *

**3:55 am**

Racing down the pathway, Ronon blasted another lock. It was the fifth he'd run across. His gun did fairly well for all of them except the last one. It was the last door before the room, the woman and Sheppard was in.

He could hear muffled yelps and the sound of something he was a little taken aback to hearing. A moaning, woman's sound.

Bashing the lock with the butt of his weapon, he blasted it one more time before it opened. The last door.

Ronon wasted no time, he shot the door and felt himself fall backwards. The last thing he was aware of, was the woman saying, "_Oh that's it John, beg me to stop. Beg me. No more…"_

* * *

**4:08 am**

Teyla arrived to find a chair and a mess of plastic strewn on the floor of the room. Thankfully Lorne and the others had kept up. They didn't see anything interesting but the sound of someone coughing down another hallway drew their attention to the panel.

Ronon had left it open. Turning on the flashlights to full power, Lorne and the rest of them raced down the hallway, passing broken glass, fish bones and a few dried out barnacles covering the walls.

Upon reaching the end, they found Ronon lying unconscious on the floor. Moving to his side, Teyla tugged on his shoulder, slowly he lifted his head. "She has a force field over the door," he muttered.

Teyla looked up to Lorne, who threw a powerbar at it (go powerbar go!) and watched the bar jump back to hit him in the hand. "Ouch!" said Lorne. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Lorne to Dr. McKay."

"This is Weir."

"Dr. Weir? We ran into some sort of force field. Tell Dr. McKay to get down here."

"Will do, Weir out."

Lorne traded looks with Teyla, as slightly, muffled laughter erupted behind the door.

* * *

**4:20 am**

She took her time, he felt hatred in every movement, in every feeling and in everything she was taking from him. He hated himself because twice he had almost let go. Almost found bliss…bliss from something he knew he wouldn't forget ever. She was raping him. The thought drifted into his mind, as she moaned into his shoulder.

But the thoughts that went along with that…shame, sorrow, fear or anything else just didn't feel right to him. He did feel violated…utterly violated and angry.

Suddenly she began to speed up until she had reached the height of her efforts. He felt the familiar rush as his body betrayed him. He'd tried to resist but either lack there of or because of the drugs…he'd let go. Slowly she lifted her heavy eyes to meet his. "Thanks…I knew you would give in. I fear my time is short though…we won't be having time for seconds."

John thought somewhere in his tide of emotions that coursed through him that he was relieved there wasn't going to more. More violation…of the one thing he craved…enjoyed maybe even loved to do.

Too tired to try and move. He felt her get off and move to the duffel bag again. His back was throbbing as blood leaked out of the numerous whip marks he had. Not to mention the wound on his neck and the other various knife wounds she'd made when he was unconscious earlier.

Returning to his side, she reached down and pulled a towel from her duffel on him. Covering his lower regions. "It's the least I will do for you for now. When next we meet you will be mine. Make no mistake. I'm not Gou'ld. After all a new species needs to further itself. You'd make a perfect mate. Submissive and obedient…well once I've had my way with you enough times."

As she quickly packed up everything, she turned to him. "They are here. I won't make this harder than it has to be. When they find you in here, bleeding to death, I will be long gone John. Don't think you've seen the last of me because when I come back…"

The last thing he heard her say as she pulled on the rest of her clothing and picked up the knife lying near him was, "Until later John."

Then she drew him to his side and with the knife, began to cut his bicep, leaving a mark there. He heard nothing else of what she was muttering because of the pain ringing in his ears. Once she had finished, she laid him on his back again, only to plunge the knife deep into his chest. Once he screamed out loud, she raced off down another passageway.

Feeling his eyes close, as the wound bleed out, he was thankful she'd left the towel. At least he could die with dignity.

* * *

**4:25 am**

Approaching the door, Rodney hefted his laptop up and shoved a marine out of the way. Just as he had been about to find a way through the force field, it deactivated. Within seconds he found himself being shoved aside, in turn, as Lorne, the team, and Ronon rushed through the door.

The scene they came upon was horrifying. There lay Sheppard in a pool of blood, numerous wounds littering his body. His clothes and various machines littering the room, as well as a contraption. What was worst was Sheppard appeared to be naked except for the towel covering him.

Radioing down to Carson, Lorne had two of his men keep an eye on Sheppard as he and Ronon raced down another passageway that one of the men's flashlights happened to spy.

In the meantime, Teyla stayed behind, kneeling beside Sheppard. One of the marine's, like most miltary men, had medical training and was able to stave off the bleeding but not able to remove the knife. Patting John's shoulder, she hoped that Carson would arrive in time.

"Lie still Colonel. Help is on the way," Teyla said, as he tried to move.

"How is he?" asked Rodney, closing his laptop as he stood at the doorway.

"I don't know…" said the Marine, trying to put some bandages on John's wounds.

When a few minutes had passed, Rodney saw John's eyes flickering. "John?" asked Teyla, her hand resting on his forehead.

"Tey…la…?"

"Yes it is me."

"Whe...re am I…"

Teyla looked up to see Rodney's worried look. This wasn't good.

* * *

**A/N:** Oww evil… 


	8. Chapter 8 Being Human

**A/N:** Serket – name curtsy of wikipedia. I chose the name after I wrote this chapter. You might want to read up about this goddess, pretty interesting how the description of her fits this woman.

**Brief Beta'er:** ikliee34babe

* * *

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Being Human – Part 8**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**5:00 am**

Rushing down the hallway Ronon at Lorne's side, they passed several windows with view of the ocean. This part of the city was under water. There was still so much about Atlantis they had yet to figure out, this was just one of them. Labs underwater? There had to be a reason for it.

At the moment though Lorne didn't honestly care, his sole thought was finding this woman and stopping her.

Racing down another passageway, Ronon stopped, making Lorne skid to a halt. "What is it?"

"Look," pointed Ronon.

There sat the woman, hunched over, rocking back and forth. Her hands were around her legs, while her head rested on top of her knees. On the floor in front of her feet was a symbiot. Slowly, veins and blood vessels popped on it's skin as it squirmed on the floor. Then rapidly it began to turn brown and stop moving, it's squealing ceasing.

Ronon kept his gun trained on the woman as she stood up. "It worked…"

Lorne was about to step forward to help her but something caught Ronon's eye, a syringe and a strange device lying near her.

"I never thought it would work but that woman is gone now finally…"

"Excuse me?" said Lorne.

"The human, she was holding me hostage…instead of me being in control she controlled me…finally at last…I am me…well sort of…It's strange to be fully human…I never thought it was possible…after all this time. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Serket and I was once the captive of this woman," she said pointing to the symbiot on the floor, "who is now dead as my consciousness has finally taken over. Or you could say I traded places with her. "

Ronon kept is gun leveled with her. "I don't believe you

"Is that even possible?" asked Lorne, keeping his P-90 at ready, just in case.

Ronon shrugged his shoulders slightly, a grim look on his face. "Good question."

* * *

**6:30 am**

Ronon, Teyla, Rodney and Dr. Reeds sat in Elizabeth's office. It had been tense. Once Sheppard had been brought to the infirmary, finally, Carson and his team had worked hard to remove the knife and stave off the numerous bleeding wounds on him.

That wasn't the worst though, this woman had been looked over briefly by one of the nurses before being taken to a cell and the results produced more questions than answers. Considering what she'd done they couldn't risk another rouse.

"Ma'am?" asked Lorne walking into her office and looking over the small crowd seated around her desk.

Various reports, notes and information pertaining to Gou'ld and host information was piled on her desk and each person had a folder or two. She set aside the notes in hand and nodded for him to continue.

"I have two guards posted outside the cell and two at the entrance. So far she continues to persist with the story."

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Thank you Major."

Watching Lorne leave, Rodney scratched his chin. "How can we be sure this isn't another ploy or something?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "We can't but until Carson can confirm her story or disprove it, I'm not taking any chances. The Gou'ld found was hers. So far I've looked through all the reports that comes to mind and nothing suggests that this is even remotely possible…"

"But none of them disprove it's possible either," pointed out Ronon.

"That's true," said Dr. Reeds, a frown on her face.

Rodney stared at her. "Which reminds me where were you when the search was going on?"

Dr. Reeds scratched her neck. "I was sorting through files on the Gou'ld for your information. I would have joined in but I have a knee injury from a recent fall that prevents me walking too much. Dr. Beckett said it would heal but I would have to stay off it as much as possible. I'm cleared for duty but not for a heavy load."

"Is that so?" said Rodney, his eyes narrowing.

"Its all right Rodney," said Elizabeth, looking at the three of them. "She's right."

Rodney went back to the folder in his hand but wouldn't look at Dr. Reeds, eliciting a frown from her.

* * *

**8:00 am**

"This is Beckett to Dr. Weir.'

Four heads popped up from various notes and folders. Realizing, she hadn't responded. Elizabeth tapped her com.

"Yes Carson?"

"He's awake. He's not quite out of the woods yet but I can allow a brief visit from some friends. I also have something to discuss with you and his team members. He's asked that I do so."

Trading looks of relief but some puzzlement with the rest of Sheppard's team, she got up. Seeing that they had already gotten up, together they left her office.

Upon entering the infirmary and seeing him hooked up to various tubes and a heart monitor, the team slowed down. He didn't look good. His face was pale, and his eyes downcast.

"You can visit for a bit but then my patient needs to rest," said Carson, turning to the new arrival behind them. "Ah yes Dr. Heightmeyer, as soon as he's released I send him over."

Nodding she left, giving a brief nod to Elizabeth and all present.

Approaching his bed one at a time they spoke softly to him but it was apparent he, while focused on them, he was hurt. His eyes were cold and he refused to look them straight in the face.

* * *

**8:20 am (added this)  
**

"Carson?"

Carson finished up the rest of his tending to Sheppard and brought the team and Elizabeth into his office. "It was the first thing he asked. I also think it might be a good idea to inform you of whats happened."

Elizabeth frowned, she didn't like the look on his face. Neither did the others. "Alright what is it?"

"Oh god he's not dying is he?" asked Rodney, worry creasing his face.

Carson crossed his arms and looked down. "No, he's not but he's in intensive care for the next few days. I won't be sure of anything for awhile. That's not why I brought all of you in. Colonel Sheppard, as you know was found…undressed."

Ronon blinked. "And…"

"He...was raped."

Elizabeth felt her mouth flop open a little as most of the others did.

"Raped?" asked Ronon, "How?"

"I'm not exactly sure as to what drugs she administered but it appears to be the classic date-rape drug with a few other additives I'm not familiar with."

Rodney swallowed. "Is he…"

"We won't know more about how his mental state is until later. Right now my job is to keep his body well. Dr. Heightmeyer will keep both me and Dr. Weir informed of what she finds. I suspect, she might want to have a chat with all you about rape victims reactions and how to deal with it."

Elizabeth nodded and asked. "Is there anything else?"

"Only that he may have to be suspended from off-world activities even after his wounds have healed but that will be up to Dr. Heightmeyer and yourself to decide."

"Wounds of the mind," said Ronon, lowering his eyes. He understood. On Sateda it was a rarity but it happened. Most men didn't discuss it. The word would be taboo.

Elizabeth turned to look out the office window toward where Sheppard lay sleeping. She couldn't believe it. Just the very word made her shift uncomfortably where she stood. She could see the others were just as unsure about this. Sheppard had been raped?

* * *

**9:00 am**

"Wa…tt…er…" strained Sheppard's voice, his throat dry and sore. He could feel the pressure on his face from the breathing mask but he was so thirsty. It had been scratchy for awhile but when the team had approached him just a matter of minutes after he had been patched up he hadn't been composed enough to ask.

Rushing to his side, Carson brought ice chips and helped to remove his breathing mask. Slowly, he eased Sheppard into a slight upright position. "Take it easy, I don't want you to aggravate your wounds."

"Did they…get her…" He breathed huskily, as his eyes adjusted to where he was. Seeing rows of beds in front of him and Carson made him relieved. This was the infirmary.

"Take it easy. Try to relax," said Carson, holding Sheppard gently on his uninjured shoulder.

"You've been through a lot and yes they found her. Though she's spinning an interesting story. Don't you worry about it. We'll get down to the bottom of this. In the meantime your going to have to recover here for awhile as your injuries are extensive."

When he didn't respond, Carson helped lay him back down. As he was about to leave, Carson heard a weak voice.

Turning back he removed the breathing mask once more and listened. "Did…tell?"

"Yes I did and Elizabeth and I agreed that when you are feeling better you will need to see Dr. Heightmeyer."

John rolled his eyes. "F…f…ine." Then blinked his eyes slowly and added, "Okay."

Carson put the breathing mask back on before returning to his office.

_So she was caught?_ Thought John, _Why is my head so fuzzy?_ Pushing his brain to think through the fog didn't produce any more answers and just gave him a slight headache instead.

Rolling his eyes down, it was all of the sudden so clear. He'd been… tortured…and… He just couldn't believe it. It wasn't possible…she'd….she'd…

She'd raped him.

It wasn't plain and simple. It was complicated.

It had a certain feeling associated with it whenever he thought about it. A feeling of distaste but he wasn't scared or jumping around frantically. Not that he could in his injured state. He'd heard of rape victims jumping at barely some one touching them. He didn't feel that way.

He'd had a mirage of emotions at one point but after the knife wound he'd let it go. He'd had to if he was going to survive long enough for the team and for the Doc.

In fact…

What was he suppose to feel? Sad? Scared? It had been beyond miserable being whipped and sliced with her knife but when it had come down to the final act he just felt indifferent about it. What was he to make of it anyways?

Now when he thought about being fed upon by a Wraith…that had been terrorizing. No, it had been beyond, extremely frightening. He never wanted to go through that nightmare again but this…?

Not that he ever wanted to experience what this woman had put him through again it was just…

He figured the knife in his chest had been more than a little scary. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that but her raping him…

Why was that any reason to be traumatized from?

But the truth of the matter was he was in denial he knew that and he didn't need to see that shrink, Dr. Heightmeyer, to know it either. Considering everything he'd been through the last, practically 24 hours, he felt justified with his denial. After all it wasn't everyday you could say you'd been sexually harassed by one woman and beaten and raped by another now was it?

Resisting the urge to call Beckett back, he tried to reach down to touch a section just above his stomach. Thankfully the knife wound had been pretty superficial considering… at least that was what Carson had told him when he had come to, the first time.

Stretching his fingers as far as they would go, he felt the edge of his abdomen. He knew a little about rape cases, having been given a class in it when he joined the Air Force but what made him curious was how did doctors determine if a man was raped? He knew with women they used a stick test or something and if there was scarring in one area then it was consensual but if there was scarring in another area it was rape because of the force.

He didn't figure there'd be scarring on his… But he also figured they didn't need to do any tests to figure out he'd been…

No matter how tired or injured he was, he just couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact, maybe the worst part about it was he had enjoyed it just a little. He'd even reached peak.

In some sick, dark part of his mind he had enjoyed it a little. He hated himself for that. He was just disgusted and then he remembered what anger felt like.

_Maybe there really is something wrong with me_, he thought, before his eyes began to droop.

* * *

**10:00 am**

Carson had just returned from the tests he'd run on the woman called Serket and was just as perplexed as his nurse had been. There wasn't evidence suggesting that such a thing was possible but yet the brain wave patterns were a bit different than a normal human's was.

When he thought about it though, this woman could have either been so mixed up because something between her body and the Gou'ld wasn't working, that when she got free of it, she thought she was the Gou'ld or it could be that this woman already had a personality and psychological disorder in the first place. Not much research had been done on the Gou'ld's healing power and its helpfulness on the psychologically sick.

But then, Carson thought, _Why would a Gou'ld chose a sick host when it could get a healthy one?_

Still with all these thoughts running through his head, it remained that the readings said her story at least could check out or couldn't be completely dismissed. Shaking his head, he returned to the lab to finish up his analysis of the dead Gou'ld, which appeared to be so well gone that he wasn't sure he'd get anything useful from it.

Finding his com he stretched and tapped it. "Dr. Weir?"

"Yes, Carson. Go ahead."

"I found some interesting brain wave patterns and just a few minor things but nothing to suggest that her story can be dismissed completely."

"Alright keep me posted on anything else you find? Weir out."

Nodding his head, Carson went to Sheppard's bed and checked on his vitals. Everything was stable and he was finally sleeping. Of course it had taken awhile. Carson wasn't about to introduce more drugs into his system after what the women had put in him. He would just hope that John would stay asleep until her drugs completely wore off, which they were already and then he would give him some sleep inducing medicine. Just the concept of being raped by a woman rattled Carson's mind.

_What Sheppard must be feeling…?_ Thought Carson, before returning to his office to do some more research on his findings.

* * *

**11:45 am**

"Ma'am we have a problem," blared Elizabeth's com.

Teyla and Ronon looked up immediately while Rodney slid off his hand, half awake.

"Yes, what kind of problem?"

"She's missing."

That was it, Ronon was up so was Teyla and Rodney not far behind. "Wait," said Elizabeth rushing out the door after them. "Lt. Maines, alert security teams and notify Beckett that he might be having company."

"Ma'am?"

"I don't want to take a chance that she will return to do more damage to Colonel Sheppard. Now go!"

"Yes Ma'am. Maines out."

Racing down to the transporter, she felt her heart thundering in her chest. _How had this happened? _This woman was not only manipulative and cunning but it seemed she possessed the modern version of magical powers practically.

* * *

**11:50 am **

"Hello Sheppard," said a voice near his ear. At first he thought he was still dreaming because it always ended the same since his constant waking every 5 minutes. In the dream she was seated beside him, threatening to cut off his shorts or dismember his well…member… or something like that.

Slowly, his eyes peeled open to see a face, he had been hoping was just one of those bad dreams. It was her, staring right back at him.

Before he could jerk away, she moved his mask and patted his forehead. "I'm sorry that she did this to you. I know you won't believe me but the human I had taken was crazy. I managed to use my knowledge of DNA manipulation and a wonderful machine before your friends arrived to switch my consciousness with hers. I am now human no longer Gou'ld."

Sheppard wheezed before responding. "I don't…be believe you."

"I am truly sorry for what she did to you. A lot of what she said was her own confused mind trying to latch onto my thoughts. It was too much for one being. Had I known she had the sickness of the mind, I would never have taken her. I think I understand now why you humans hate us Gou'ld so much and why you hate the Wraith as well."

Slowly, she reached to touch his lips with her fingers. "Were you ever able to forgive me for something I could not control, I would lay my life down for you. When I read your mind with the Ancient machine…I have never seen such a tortured, sad soul in my life. Humans truly are the fascinating. You may not live as long nor possess the abilities such that we are blessed with but you understand and feel things that we could never have."

She looked up toward the back of the infirmary. "I must leave now before Dr. Beckett returns but I promise you the next time we meet, I will have answers for questions I know you wish to ask me."

Leaning down she wiped the sweat forming on his brow before slowly running her hand over his injured shoulder. Then just as quickly when he had closed his eyes, she was gone. For a while he lay there taking in what she had said. Could he believe her after all that she had done to him?

He felt so confused and so tired of this. All he wanted was to forget this whole ordeal and be back to normal, whatever normal was. Feeling someone return to his bedside, it was Carson, a worried look on his face.

"Car…son?"

"She was here wasn't she?"

"How…kn…ow?"

Carefully he looked over to where Carson was staring and there sat the kit. All the stolen data and vials. "I just got a call from Elizabeth saying she'd escaped," said Carson, disbelief in his voice as he sat in another chair nearby.

"Did she…"

Before Carson could continue, he cut him off, "No…thing. She did...no..thing."

Carson nodded returning his breathing mask correctly on his face, before radioing Elizabeth with the news. Once the news had traveled back to him that they had sweeped Atlantis, the jumper bay, the ocean and the Daedulus and still found no trace of her, he moved to Sheppard's side to tell him.

"They didn't find her."

Coughing, Sheppard smiled slightly and muttered under the mask. "Figures…"

Sheppard closed his eyes and felt sleep just within his reach. So it wasn't over was it? She was still out there somewhere and he would never be certain whether she had pulled another rouse or if she had been telling the truth…

Watching Carson get up, he turned away. He didn't want to talk anymore. He just wanted some time to think things through.

"Well I should get this kit back to the lab," said Carson picking up the material.

John just nodded in return and waited until he heard the doors to Carson's office close before opening his eyes.

Again the question returned to him. What the hell was he supposed to feel? And at last he knew what it was…

Anger…and the feeling of violation and fear…and… and… He felt so ashamed that this had happened. He was suppose to be a leader. Be the one who set an example for people under his command. What would they think of him now? What would any of them…Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Elizabeth…even Carson, think?

Closing his eyes he found sleep a bit easier though every few seconds he found his eyes opening to see if she was there.

Now he knew what they meant by being 'jumpy'. He felt extremely jumpy. When the nurse came in after his fifth look out. He felt himself flinch at her touch. What the hell did that make him?

Internally he criticized himself for letting this get to him. He would be fine. He just needed to get some sleep. But sleep evaded him until around 2:00 pm he felt Carson moving to his side to give him something to sleep.

Thanking Carson silently, he closed his eyes hoping the dreams wouldn't return.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay okay…so final chapter is next. I couldn't leave Shep like this…I just couldn't…It was too cruel. 


	9. Chapter 9 Vulnerable

**A/N:** Hey all sorry for the delay. I had some trouble with various illnesses and stuff. Definitely not my week, month whatever. So without further adeu here is the final piece.

**Very Brief Beta'er:** Lushelgirz

* * *

... **.LV. **...

**Going Commando **

** Vulnerable – Part 9**

By _Lady Valmar_

* * *

**4:00 pm**

It was horribly miserable the next two to three hours as he lay there, a nagging itch on the middle of his back where the whip marks were. He'd tried to shrug it off and go back to sleep but the thing just kept itching. As the hour slowly ticked by so did the itch…getting worse minute by minute, second by second.

Maybe the itch was more desirable than what was running around in his head. Regardless of how badly he itched he couldn't stop thinking about yesterday and all he'd gone through. Dr. Whatever her name and the taunting then this woman. How could she expect him to suddenly forgive her and ignore all she'd done to him? Why was he even thinking about it like her knew her? She was a nobody to him, just another Gou'ld trying to rip what small paradise the Atlantis team had managed in this part of the galaxy, away from him.

He hated the thought that this could have been prevented. He should not have chosen not to take his coffee to his favorite balcony instead he should have just gone back to the lab, at least then he wouldn't have jeopardized himself and the lives of those others she'd killed just to take him.

That poor Athosian woman's face, he could barely remember her because at the time he'd been as drugged up as a bloated fish. Still, her eyes remained burned into his memory. The terror that she'd felt…just like …he had felt…he wasn't really admitting it to himself…maybe he was.

She had made him feel so helpless. John grinded his teeth. He wanted to hurt her… He didn't know what he wanted to … Just something to her. Make her feel like he had felt. Make her pay.

It was bad enough to be tortured but for her to do this made him feel so…vulnerable. She had taken advantage of him and he decided he felt anger at that and at himself for not doing more to stop her.

Angry was his best face when he was hurt because then he wouldn't have to face the tears or the depression he knew was soon to follow his rage.

Sheppard sat up slowly, ignoring the pain and tossed the cup of slowly melting ice chips across the room. He wasn't going to let this get to him. He wasn't just another guy, he was a Lt. Colonel now and he was strong. Pain burst soon after the cup rolled under an infirmary bed, it was like every wound he had was on fire, not to mention his throat was parched now.

Carson, hearing the noise came running to a skidding halt in front of Sheppard's bed. He immediately went into action, making Sheppard lay back down, while he checked the wounds to see if they were bleeding again. After he had retrieved the cup and sent a nurse to clean up what little a mess there was, he sat down in chair near the bed to hopefully talk.

"Do you want to talk?" asked Carson, unsure as to what to say. In his entire career he'd only encountered two rape cases, but both had been female. Those he had had an idea how to handle but this…

Sheppard's response was to look at his arms, that he had lain across his belly just a few seconds previously, while kind of jutting out his lip, giving the impression that he was sulking.

Carson knew it was more than sulking but he didn't think he should push him, so he waited. After a few moments, Carson cleared his throat, hoping Sheppard would say something. Anything at all.

But Sheppard had closed his eyes and had turned his head to the other side. He was refusing to say anything and Carson knew it was best he didn't try further. He'd leave that to Dr. Heightmeyer. Right now he felt it was important for Sheppard to at least recover his health before answers were squeezed out of him.

"Well, I'll just get some more ice chips for you and let you recover but I'm here if you need to talk," offered Beckett, pushing the chair back to its position between the two infirmary beds.

After he had left, Sheppard opened his eyes. He had tried to talk but it was like he was out of sync. He couldn't explain the feeling. All these raw emotions he'd been shoving down because he hadn't wanted to reveal that vulnerability to his captor had now bubbled to the surface. He had showed her his vulnerability, because if he hadn't why would she have kept torturing him?

Squeezing his eyes shut, he held still as the nausea that had suddenly risen settled back down. Her words kept swirling in his mind.

…it is threatening to break free Sheppard. Come on…just let go. I know how it feels…that's it I want to see you cry. Your worthless…you are nothing but a plaything accept it…

Grunting he focused on his wounds. At least they helped get his mind off the misery swirling in his mind. Then again they stood as painful reminders of what she had done to him…

He hadn't cried, he knew that but he'd held onto every emotion he wanted to let out during it. Now he wasn't sure what would happen when he finally did let those emotions out but so far he'd done okay. Maybe he figured it was, in part, due to his inability to really express his emotions or properly relay them to others…maybe that was why he was shoving those emotions down as far as he could so that he didn't have to let them see what he'd gone through.

Or it could have been due to the fact that people looked up to him and if he let his guard down then he'd be disappointing them by showing his vulnerability. Everyone thought he was a laid back, pretty smooth guy who could handle himself well but the truth of the matter was he was laid back only because it was easier…easier then having to deal with the reality of his own emotions.

It was far easier to play the smooth guy then to take off the facade, even after being tortured and let the emotions out. People couldn't get too close if he didn't let them see who he really was. Of course, he thought, maybe it was just because he didn't know how to be anything other than laid back despite these emotions.

For some reason that old analogy of the wolf in sheep's clothing came to mind. Though he wasn't a wolf. In fact he was rather a sheep in wolf's clothing. Maybe what had happened, he thought, was that he was so used playing the act that all he knew was the act.

Shaking his head, Sheppard snorted slightly. _Stupid analogy. Stupid thoughts._ _Why can't I just stop thinking? _

He longed to just let the darkness of deep sleep take him but no matter how hard he tried little things popped into his mind. Her laughter, as she cut him. The feel of her on top of him, riding him. The confusion as to what or how he was suppose to react. His final release…

That's it…I want to hear you tell me to stop. Beg me to stop. Tell me you hate come on. What's wrong not enjoying this. I want to see you in pain…

A whimper escaped his lips as he remembered how she had dug hard on him, pushing down without bothering with lube or anything else. He hadn't thought it could hurt that bad but dry skin on dry skin never felt good.

Rolling his head back and forth to get comfortable he almost could hear the sound of his own breath. The same labored breathing he had after she'd cut up his shoulder and then stabbed him with the knife. That terrible sound, _shing_, as she withdrew the blade from his shoulder and plunged it into his chest. He was lucky to still be alive.

Clenching the sheets with his hands, he shut his eyes, maybe if he just thought about something else he could sleep.

* * *

**4:50 pm**

"How's he holding up?" asked Dr. Heightmeyer, her pen and paper tablet in hand.

Beckett crossed his arms at his desk. "Well, his injuries are healing. It may take at least a week or two before the knife wound heals but many of the other wounds he's sustained are purely superficial. I expect by next week he should be well enough. I would like to give it an extra week."

Lowering his head Carson took a deep breath. This was not going to be pleasant. Sheppard was notorious for skipping any sessions he could opt out with Dr. Heightmeyer.

"Good. Has he said anything so far?" asked Dr. Heightmeyer, her eyes traveling over Carson. He looked pale. Weary almost. She'd seen this sort of thing right after a rape case came in. It was never easy for patient nor doctor.

Emotions ran high in these type of situations and at the moment, since she couldn't do anything for Sheppard, she hoped she could help Beckett.

"Not much, he threw a cup of ice and he is listening. That's for sure," said Beckett, reaching for a cup of tea. Finding himself lost in thought for awhile; he could hear pencil scratching away at paper.

"Dr. Beckett?"

Her voice drew him away from his thoughts. "Yes?"

"And you? How are you feeling?"

Smiling, Beckett knew her intentions were only in his best interest still he wouldn't be drawn in. "Dr. Heightmeyer am I under the impression that you are trying to evaluate me?"

Shaking her head slightly with a grin she replied. "I'm only here to help. If the one person I can help is unavailable there is always someone connected to them who could use some help." He took her intentions as honorable and mentally closed the door. "Is this a conversation where I'm the patient…?"

She put her hand up and smiled again. "No, as one friend to another. I promise," and with that she put the top of the paper pad down on it and pocketed the pen.

* * *

**5:30 pm**

Finally sleep was close but something wet was trickling down his face, groaning he opened his eyes to look around. Was there a leak on the ceiling from something? Or was someone playing around with him? He noticed now for the first time that a privacy curtain had been put up in the back and things were being moved around.

He figured Beckett knew he was going to need some time so that was why the curtain was being set up. After awhile of dazed confusion, he finally touched his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had made him wake. When he looked at his hand, it was wet.

_Weird_, he thought. His eye itching, he rubbed it with his fist and felt moist liquid come away. Uncurling his fist, he looked at it. He was crying? It didn't make any sense.

It had to be his eyes were watering that was all. _Right? _Closing his eyes, a blanket of darkness pulling him under.

* * *

**6:00 pm **

"If there is anything else you need…" supplied Elizabeth, aware the loss was felt by many of Teyla's people. Even Ronon had known several of them and that was saying something.

After the initial sweep to find Serket, two of the security teams had come across another two Athosians and one Daedulus personnel. They were still putting the pieces together, trying to figure out how the Gou'ld had even made it onto the Daedulus in the first place. After the first incidence with Colonel Caldwell, new scanners, made of mostly Asgard technology, had been installed to identify any Gou'ld intruders. This woman had somehow fooled the scanners, Elizabeth's guess was that the cloak or shield or whatever Rodney had called it was the culprit.

"Thank you. We will have the proper ceremonies come tomorrow evening. Tonight my people will prepare them," said Teyla to Elizabeth.

Nodding, Elizabeth pulled a blue folder out from under a stack of folders.

This had been one week of havoc and destruction, one right after another. First it had started off with someone in McKay's lab exploding an ancient paint machine, leaving an awful mess. Elizabeth frowned at the thought, though it was not without its humor. Then a fight had broken out between two marines and a scientist, just the day after the lab explosion.

The fight had something to do with name-calling and a disagreement on professions, that much Elizabeth could gather. The military were noted for their dislike of civilian management and going about things. The next day after that, Lorne's team had returned with some kind of small eel stuck to the middle of Lorne's forehead. That had been a real eye opener. Nevermind the three failed diplomatic missions that the flagship team had gone, worlds were the Wraith had culled.

One had brought Rodney back with a tiki mask on his face and Sheppard wearing a fruit basket for a hat. That had been the other eye opener for the week.

Just after that when it was time off and she'd hoped to get some peace from all the craziness this week, the whole incident with Dr. Rivas and then Serket had jumped into view. Not to mention that four people were dead including the SGCIS agent sent to Atlantis.

Shaking her head, she scanned smaller folders for the one needed. Catching the appropriately labeled "Hell Day," she opened it and pulled out the team's recount of events. "Now I've re-read all your notes and have concluded that the only other person who can finish this is Sheppard and until he is better I'd ask that all of you to please leave discussion of this until he is ready. For now I want all of you to report to Dr. Heightmeyer, should you feel the need.

Turning to the form slumped in the chair, trying to sneak a cookie into his mouth, she frowned. "Rodney?"

Rodney's head popped up from his hand as he blinked. "Um…" He quickly hide the cookie in his pocket, while dodging the arrows whizzing at him from Elizabeth's eyes.

"I want you especially to see Dr. Heightmeyer, if nothing else, about Dr. Rivas."

"Fine…did the Daedulus leave yet?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Their on their way back to Earth. So the information?"

Rodney scratched his neck, watching Dr. Reeds slump down in a chair. "Oh you again?"

Dr. Reeds turned to him. "Yes me. The Daedulus will come back in a month. I'll be going back later. Right now my prime target is this Serket. So Doctor McKay the information?"

Rodney glared. "Right, yes well ehem. From all the footage we were able to find of this woman, it appears this device she was using, is in fact an advanced form of Ancient technology."

A few surprised looks and one or two curious gasps escaped all assembled. "What?" said Elizabeth, finding it hard to believe.

Handing out photos and notes on the devices, that had he managed to put together, and that were not damaged, he pointed to one particular photo. "This one uses a projection of a person. So essentially you could use a few scans of a person, like myself, and put it into this device and then look like them. Of course there are flaws with it such as if anyone touched you, that would disrupt the projection…"

* * *

**Time Unknown, Place unknown**

Trudging up the next grassy hill, she yanked on her prize in tow. A few well-placed kicks and his squeals ceased. It had been difficult to drag him but since she no longer possessed the strength of a Gou'ld she had had to do it this way.

The wind had begun to pick up and was blowing weeds and dust into her face. Coughing, she shielded herself with one hand and tugged harder with the other. She was so close, it would only take one more piece of "research" and she would have all she wanted and more.

Finally her dreams of a power and dominance would be hers; all she needed to do was to get back to the ship. Trudging further through the grass, she heard two Wraith darts zoom in the distance.

She had to hurry, there was no time to waste. Just a few more steps and she'd be close. Coughing again, she felt something running down her chin. There wasn't time to look. Giving up on using one hand she turned and yanked with both hands to pull her prisoner into the ship.

Giggling once she had made it inside, she cloaked her ship and took off.

Those humans had no idea what she was and what she could do. She'd fooled them good. That Gou'ld had worked like a charm and the whole story too. She just couldn't help smiling and she'd got a good ride in for her trouble as well. That John Sheppard, she would have to look him up later when she had her target.

Laughing harder she slipped and deactivated the cloak just in time for the two Wraith darts to see her ship and fire. One of the drive pods took heavy damage and despite the quick switch back into cloak, her ship was losing power. It was crashing and it was taking everything down with it. Racing into the back of the ship, she released the bonds on the female wraith.

The Wraith scrabbled away from her and pounced towards her. She knew there wasn't much time left, diving for the Wraith's hand she pressed it against her chest. The Wraith thought it had won and happily drained her life from her that was until it saw a glowing white-blue, snake like creature slop onto the floor from her mouth.

The Wraith continued to drain her until there was nothing left, only to scream as the slimy slug climbed up her body to go down her throat. As the ship pummeled towards the dense forestry, the Wraith grinned.

"It worked."

And with that the doors to the jumper opened knocking her and everything else out, scattering it across the forest floor, just as the ship impacted with a explosion into the earth.

Two Wraith darts whizzed past only to have one return and send a beam down. It was carrying one passenger.

Their Queen.

* * *

**9:00 pm - Tuesday**

Teyla walked down the hallway to the infirmary; it was quiet and calm. Something that was very rare on Atlantis now days. It seemed like just a day or two ago, things had been pretty normal compared to this. She had wanted to check on Sheppard earlier but duty to the families that had lost a member, she hadn't the time.

The last time she'd talked with him, it had been a one sided sort of chat. He hadn't looked well at the time. Whatever or where ever this woman was, she had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last time they would see of her. Putting aside those dark thoughts, she stopped as the sound of weeping caught her ear.

Peering over the edge of the window to the infirmary doors, she saw nothing but a curtain in the back of the infirmary. Carson must have moved him there for more privacy. She didn't blame him either, after what John had been through…

She decided it was best not to disturb him but waited a while longer, listening as the occasional sorrowful sniffle or moan reached her ears. When a nurse came up to the infirmary doors to enter she moved but put a hand on the woman's shoulder.

"He needs to be left alone," said Teyla, her eyes stern and her mouth set in a grime line.

The nurse listened for a few seconds before nodding and returning to the other smaller infirmary. While Atlantis had thick walls the one thing that was unique was the infirmary. It had a few medical office rooms for staff and then there was the infirmary itself right next to them. The office rooms had slightly thinner walls allowing for sound to more easily penetrate between them and the infirmary.

Whether it had anything to do with poor construction or some kind of medical reason, Teyla did not know. All she knew was that John needed space and it was the least she could for him, seeing as anything else was out of the question.

Backing away from the infirmary Teyla went to the mess hall only to find Ronon, Rodney and Elizabeth all seated together. Rodney and Elizabeth had coffee in front of them while Ronon had a Danish on a plate. Teyla had been introduced to them awhile back, they weren't much different than what her people made for dessert foods.

Sitting down, she looked over at Rodney. He wasn't eating this time but he was drinking coffee by the gulp. When Elizabeth looked up from the paper she was reading, it was to stare at Rodney, who was lost in thought.

Ronon, Teyla noticed, was oddly silent, picking at the edges of the Danish. They all felt bad because this should never have happened to John. In one way or another they all felt responsible but now there wasn't anything they could do except wait for him to recover and hopefully repair whatever damage he'd sustained mentally and emotionally.

The physical recovery would take awhile, without a doubt, but the mental and emotional one… Teyla knew that no matter how badly he'd been tortured and abused that his friends would be there. It was just a matter of him accepting that help.

* * *

**A Week Later…**

**12:30 am **

Carson had just finished putting the files away on several members of a recent mission gone bad when he heard footsteps. It was probably just a nurse. His eyes straying to a folder still resting on his desk, made him take a look out his office window.

It was Sheppard. He was still recovering but was well enough to return to his own room. Carson had resisted but in the end for Sheppard's sanity and his own he had allowed him to go. There had been little progress from the two sessions with Dr. Heightmeyer, at least from what he'd heard.

There wasn't much he could contribute to the situation, as mental and emotional trauma was not his specialty however he did know how to lend a hand to a friend in need. Seeing Sheppard was sleeping in the infirmary tonight he lowered the lights a little more and waited. Once he heard Sheppard tossing for the fifth time, he walked out of his office to check.

Sheppard was laying on his side the thin sheets pulled over his head, as if to protect himself. He was shivering and Beckett could hear an occasional sniffle. He couldn't say it was crying because it sounded more like a stuffed up nose kind of thing. So returning to his office he picked up a blanket, some aspirin, a bottle of water and a box of tissues.

Quietly he walked over, upon his approach, he saw Sheppard stiffen. Slowly he lowered the articles down onto the chair near the bed and then unrolled the blanket to lay on top of him. After he was sure everything was covered he whispered a quick –I-left-a-few-things-here-on-the-chair-and-I'm-here-if-you-need-anything-else- before returning to his office.

Once Carson had left, Sheppard poked his head out and took the aspirin with a swig of water. Getting up once he had blew his nose, he went to Carson's office and knocked on the door. As soon as Carson entered, he cleared his throat. "Thanks…"

"No problem," said Carson, a mug in hand.

After a few awkward moments of silence passed Sheppard backed away. "Well…ah…goodnight." Once he had returned to bed, he lay down and found himself squeezing the pillow just a little tighter and closer to his head.

He was safe there was no reason to worry. She wasn't here.

But why then was he still unable to sleep? Asked his mind. To that he had no answer only that time would mend him… He hoped.

For awhile longer he lay there as his headache subsided and he felt his muscles relax until sleep claimed him. It was then in the darkness, he heard her voice.

_Hello Sheppard…time to wake up and do my bidding…wake up.._

Jerking awake, he felt his skin was coated with sweat. His eyes scanned the room but there was nothing there.

"Nothing but a dream," he told himself and lay back down but once he closed his eyes he heard it again.

_And you thought it was over…this is just the beginning John…_

Jerking awake, John looked around the infirmary. It was early in the morning he knew that. He also knew he had dreamed her voice and waking up. Feeling the sweat trickle down his neck he wiped it away and couldn't help thinking about something she'd done to him when he'd been unconscious. Maybe…

Nah…she wasn't a Wraith and he wasn't like Teyla…there was no reason to worry. Feeling relieved he lay back down but pulled the blankets closer around him. He had several more sessions with Heightmeyer and he still was recovering. Soon enough he'd be back on missions and everything would be fine.

Denying himself, the emotions that turned beneath his skull, he wouldn't break down again. He'd been sure someone must have heard him. It had been sudden the wave of tears and the break down not long ago. He guessed it had been good for him but he wouldn't let it happen again.

He was Lt. Colonel John Sheppard and he would not yield.

* * *

**A/N: **Well there is the end folks. I'm done but I promise a surprise and of course a little mix. So without further announcement or delay the next fic is a request fic that will be the continuation of this fic Going Commando. It will involve Amazonian women and Sheppard so…oh boy…and I won't say anything about our she-devil woman so you'll have to figure that one out for your self. Thank you for your support, comments and continued reading of this fic. Stay tuned until later this week for the next fic. Valmar out!

_New:_ The sequel is nearing a finish, at least the first chapter. Keep your eyes open.


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